Cutting the Rope

Photo Credit: Arielle Estoria Chroniclesofalioness.com

Why are we afraid to let go and let God do the work in our lives? I think it's because we're scared that we might not get back what we surrendered to Him.  We're scared to let go of the people we love. Sometimes I find it scary to even ask "Lord let your will be done" because not all of God’s will is pleasing to us until we understand the "why". I'm scared that He might answer me and take the things and people I love because they're not part of His divine plan.

We are afraid to lose something the moment we start to love it. The moment we start to care for it,  treasure it and accept even it's flaws. But the weariness our hearts feel in waiting eventually causes us to give in and just say, "Lord I'm done, I'm tired and I don't know why you are not allowing this to happen. Let your will be done."
For several days I've been wondering about my future.  What if God has privileged us to be together, I wonder if he'll treasure me, pursue me, spend time with me and love me more than the words we shared over the phone. I wonder if he'll drive to where I am just to see me. I wonder if his phone will be filled with our pictures together. I wonder if he'll take advantage and appreciate the fact that we're no longer thousands of miles apart. I wonder if he'll be proud of me. I wonder if things will be different.




But then again I'm thinking,  what if we don't end up together? What if these many years of praying, waiting, fighting other people's opinions and my own will just close to being married to someone else. And when I think of that someone else, I see no one. Because I love him and I'm hoping it's his face I see down the isle as he sings me his vows. When I think of my future family there's no one else I envision spending the rest of my life with. Having kids who'll share the same weird traits he has. Talking as a team in raising them as kids who fears the Lord. Spending time together, never neglecting to make them feel loved so they won't have to find their identities in other people. Although I'm scared if our capabilities as individuals can survive the storms of life,  I just know that God will be with us because He predestined us to it. And because we are part of His plans, He'll watch over the generations that will come through us because we chose to obey Him.

I'm always wondering and my thoughts shows the content of my heart.

It's filled with frustrations, desires, dreams,  envy,  covetousness,  questions and doubts. These things in my heart robs God's place within me. In the light of God's glory, I shouldn't be living this way. He should be occupying me.

I want to live in such a way that I'm content in whatever situation I am in because I'm soaked, saturated, occupied and overflowing with His presence. That no such thing can ever make me feel void because I know He alone is enough. And no relationship will be greatly desired than His because that gives me life.

These questions in my heart will find their answers in the future to come. Today God chooses to teach me lessons born through the days in which I considered barren. His hands that encapsulates me are like fortified walls hindering the things I summon. Speaking for this moment,  I don't understand and it causes me pain to not know the reasons behind His interventions. I guess that's human nature.

But what I understand now are these...
Trusting God requires us to take things out of our hands. Having hope in Him means accepting the "here and the now", knowing that better things are yet to come. Being set apart for Him requires all of me, including my love, my heart. Lastly, committing my plans to Him means I put my eyes on Him at all times, submitting my desires and waiting for its approval. And if in case He says "no", my heart should stop going after it. Because it shouldn't be tied to nothing or no one else, but JESUS. If in the moment I feel these things I'm going after are causing me to walk away from God, this is the time that I should be cutting the rope.

Nothing or no one else should be more valuable and worth pursuing than Jesus.

Are you willing to cut the rope in exchange for the ONE who loved you first?

 

Kaye, Contributor. She is a servant of God. Her passion is for those who are inside the church, the leaders, the workers and those who need help in their walk with Christ and that together they may grow closer and deeper in Christ. She love turtles, coffee and cakes. She's a worship leader, Young Adult Ministry Chairwoman and a registered nurse.

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