Singleness = Loved

You are loved believe that.

We can not base God's unconditional love for us off of fickle conditional human love.

God so loved the world that he GAVE his only son. Same should be for us. We love so we GIVE. I think that's why my love language is gift giving and receiving. When I love I give gifts to people. And I feel most loved when others give things to me. I guess because that reminds me of how God gave his son for me. Although I was so underserving he felt I was worth it.

I think as a single it's so important to find out identity and worth in Christ before we run into a relationship and try to find our identity and worth in that other human.

One day I felt real stupid when I realized how I was unknowingly comparing God's love to human love. 

"God's love should never be distorted or diminished by comparing it with the friendship or love of any human who has let me down, rejected me, betrayed me, or lied about me." - Spoken For Book

 

Jesus gave up his life for me. Before I even cared about trying to get to know him or live life for him. Before I even believed in him he gave his life up for me. Little hott mess me. He believed I was worth it. [Romans 5:8]

Yet here I am as a single whining and complaining that no man wants to date me and crying to God to be loved by someone. Some human little boy. When in actuality I realized God just died for me. He gave up his life for me to show me just how much he loved me. How much more love do I want? If that. That meaning Jesus dying for me. Jesus giving up his own life for me. The sinless one dying for the sinner. If Jesus' love is not satisfying enough for me. No one else's love will ever satisfy me. And no other human love will ever satisfy me. It's not meant to. 

I had to learn as a single to stop waiting for a man to come along to love me. Instead I needed to turn and fix my eyes on God's love he's already given to me. We have to learn this now as singles or else we will waste our time trying to force a human to love us in a way that only God can. That's unrealistic and unnecessary expectations. Rest in God's love for you. 

You may wonder why you have such a hard time loving others. That's because your view of love is distorted. You are trying to love others based on the human definition for love. That selfish you love me right and I'll love you back right type of love. When we just learned that's not how we love. God showed us the example of how we should love. Love is self-less not selfish. Love is something you poor out freely to others whether they are giving it back to you or not. You can only do this properly if you have security in God's love for you. 

When you allow God's love for you to fill you up it's natural for it to poor out onto others. Some days you will find yourself drifting away trying to seek love from things and humans that will continually fail you. Once you realize you are doing this I encourage you to stop and fill yourself up on God's truth and his love for you. So let's accept the challenge to find our satisfaction and identity in God's love for us before we even allow ourselves to be loved by another human.

Are you willing to accept the challenge? Comment below if you accept the challenge!

Check out Part 2 Singleness = Pursued.


Tierraney, Founder. She is a twenty-something currently living in Texas.  She is an elementary math teacher and is passionate about social justice and helping others. 
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Text: John 15:9; Ephesians 3:17-19

 

*This post was inspired by the book Spoken For by Alyssa Joy Bethke and Robin Jones Gunn.