Set Apart SPOTLIGHT: Lauren Ashley Gilmore

Goodness me! What an honor to be asked to share "my story". The Lord is still writing, editing, highlighting, tweaking and refining this story, but I'm pleased to be asked to share it. It's perfectly imperfect and any glint of lovely was placed by His hand.

So here goes... I was born into a Pastor's home in the Deep South some 20 odd years ago. I was home schooled, christian schooled and public schooled all by the time I turned 8. My parents truly set Godly examples of what it means to "walk the walk" not just "talk the talk". Something I didn't learn until much later in life (but more about that soon). My Dad always told me "Your walk talks, and your talk talks , but your walk talks louder than your talk talks". He's the master of turning a life lesson into a catchy phrase.



We moved to Ohio from North Carolina where I met my husband Kyle. One snowy night in January,
my two younger brothers and I followed our parents into a small church fellowship hall. A handsome boy held the door for us, (the new Pastor and his family), and said "Hello Pastor, welcome to Mamre Baptist Church". That boy has since held many doors for me.

Fast forward some years down the road and that same boy started to catch my attention. Friendship turned to crush, crush turned to dating relationship and before you know it we were in college talking about engagement rings. We both had polished reputations. Our lives were about doing what made others happy and not to bring reproach on our family name. With that as our background, we quickly worked out every detail of our futures based on what WE thought others would think important. We thought we were glorifying The Lord with our lives, after all, we never missed a church service, bible school, or choir practice and I was the Pastor's daughter, for goodness sake. Not to mention, Kyle had perfect attendance medals that nearly hung to his waist. No joke!  But behind it all, we were "talking the talk" and not "walking the walk" . Busy doing things FOR Christ, but not WITH Him.

Our wedding was the stuff of dreams. Story book worthy. Days before Christmas we packed our little country church and had the winter wedding of my dreams. Every detail planned from the time I bought my first wedding magazine and started circling dresses and bouquets. If only I had been preparing for the MARRIAGE as much as the WEDDING.

With our heads full of goals and naive expectations, we dove in. As newlyweds, we were both busy trying to finish our senior years of college. I was student teaching and Kyle was working tirelessly to be a fulltime student, husband and financial support of our home. We were living in the same house but behind closed doors, we were islands unto ourself. Together, but living separate lives. Satan saw a weakness and he struck. Our marriage was crumbling fast and we had barely celebrated two years of marriage. We kept a plastered smile while pride prevented us from seeking help.

Soon our first daughter, Laelle, was born. She opened our eyes to a whole new world and a brand new kind of love we'd never known before. It seemed like The Lord was mending, through her, what had been broken and our marriage was sorting itself out. Since then we have learned that the love we feel for our children can not be a replacement for the love God intends for us to share with each other. Only on the surface level, were we dealing with problems. We both had some serious "heart issues".

Soon our second baby was on the way and before we could even find out the gender, Satan struck, again. This time, nearly devouring our marriage altogether. As Satan feasted, God was faithful. Where Satan tried to consume, Christ consoled. I know without a doubt that a cloud of provision hung over head through many tears, sleepless nights and questions. ONLY, and I mean, ONLY,  by God's hand, did we start to mend what was broken. It was literally ashes brought to beauty.

Isaiah 61:3 says "...to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of The Lord, that He might be glorified"

Days passed, scriptures memorized, tears shed, battles won, battles lost, small victory after small victory and suddenly, we were on the up and up.

When I started blogging I wanted to set the tone for what I thought was most important. What was it that I completely missed and wanted others to SEE? A blog post inspired by the book Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl was what I had missed. You can read that here.

Apart from Christ, my marriage and my husband are #1.. . Marriage is a picture of Christ and His Bride. Christ doesn't leave us when we are not bearing fruit. We realized, No matter what we've done to the other to break their trust, confidence or affection, staying together honored The Lord most. Allowing Him to do a great work in us gave Him the glory, not us. We are now, each other's balance.

I think about our marriage as a small tarnished trophy that The Lord polishes up from time to time, sets high on His mantel and says "Wow! I remember how this used to look....but each day when I shine this thing, I can see more of my reflection."

As we came to realize the deficits in our hearts and our marriage, God started to open doors that we had unknowingly closed. This post is an open door to encourage you. Whatever stage of marriage you currently find yourself, realize that your circumstance has not caught God by surprise. He has a unique design for you! No one else will experience exactly what you do, right down to the number of tears shed or prayers prayed. Be of good courage and keep on. Psalm 27:14 "Wait on The Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on The Lord." Remember that our marriage is meant to glorify Him. Isn't it awesome that when Christ is at the center He makes the marriage relationship that much more amazing! I love my husband more now than my wedding day, proposal day, EVEN the birth of our children, because I love him with the right kind of love, a Christ-centered love. I surely don't love perfectly, but I'm learning, each day, to let The Lord love my husband through me. I'll leave you with some words by John Piper "God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him."

Lauren is a mama of two little girls. She is a teacher by day and crafter/created/designer by night. Lauren loves to plan parties & style photo shoots of her daughters for her mommy and me tee shirt line "Gray Grace". She and her husband live in Southern Ohio where they are youth leaders for their church. You can read more about her at Lovely Living by Lauren Ashley Gilmore.








Congratulations Noel Smith & Betsy Gettis!. You two ladies are the winner of our Spoken For Book Giveaway! Please email SheisSetApart@gmail.com with your address. Thank you to everyone who entered our giveaway.  Please stay tuned because there will be many more giveaways to come.