My journey of singleness really only began three years ago. Prior to this, I had been saved for 2 years and backslidden for 3. I guess I really craved the comfort, affirmation and validation that I thought only exists in a relationship. I had no real revelation of grace and had almost aborted my destiny. But God is faithful, and even in my mess, He pulled me and my then 9-month old daughter out of a dysfunctional relationship.
So there began my journey. It wasn’t just about being physically single, but of learning to become exclusively His: physically, mentally and emotionally devoted to Christ. I believe that no matter how much we may have compromised in the past, we don’t have to settle for a life of compromise as a result. God desires for and enables us to live in purity, free from sin, guilt, condemnation and shame.
My journey these past few years has been one of healing, learning obedience, and trusting God through it all. Soon enough, I found myself learning to enjoy the present and remain hopeful for the future. Yet, there was still something missing. For a long time, I still felt a discontentment deep down.
“Single parent describes your circumstance, but mother describes your function” – Holy Ghost
That was it. I had somehow been focusing on my circumstances rather than my function and responsibility. I was allowing “single parent” and the entire stigma attached to it to become a part of my identity, and unknowingly keep me in a victim/”broken family” mentality. It wasn’t until the Holy Ghost uttered those words that I began to see a change in my thought patterns and experience contentment in my current season. I encourage any single parent that may be reading this to remember that you are not defined by your circumstances. Single parenting may not be God’s ideal pattern, but it’s not a sin! His grace is sufficient for you!
Of course, it hasn’t been an easy ride, but I’m learning to enjoy motherhood and trust that, though the world may call my family broken, in Christ we are complete and His grace truly is sufficient for each season. I’m learning to enjoy being single just by looking beyond any longing of my heart to see what God is doing in me – a work of wholeness, of knowing and following Him, parenting His way, and learning to be faithful in all things.
All in all, I’ve seen that there is more to our walk with Christ than getting over a heart break or awaiting marriage; we are on a journey of discovering who we truly have been created to be in Christ, enjoying life with the people God has placed around us, and most importantly, discovering, enjoying and experiencing God -all that He is and all that He has prepared for us to accomplish on this side of eternity. We were created for Him first and foremost, and when we lay down our lives in obedience for His Will to be done there is a joy and a fulfilment that follows.
If I had to encourage anyone struggling with feelings of discontentment in their singleness, I would say that being single is a gift and such an amazing opportunity to fill yourself with God, and be set free to know and live for Him. Though we are single in the natural, we are called to be His Bride here and now. Bask in His presence, enjoy the gifts, talents, and people in your life and the unravelling of His purposes for you. If God has a relationship for you in the future, then that next season is beautiful too, but it will hold such different opportunities and experiences. So live this moment, and love it.
Nicole is the founder of True 2 You Organization London. She has a passion to see God's people set free from anything that hinders their growth in Christ. She is a stay at home mum and works as a freelance graphic designer & illustrator. Blog | Instagram
Clear your calendar! Set Apart Lifestyle: College kicks off on March 25th, and you're invited to take part in the first of many She is Set Apart Lifestyle Events. Our topic is on being set apart in college.This FREE 3 hour event will feature a Q&A panel, mini-workshops, spoken word and more. The focus of this event is to give practical tips on how to navigate the college life while still living for Christ. The University of Houston (4800 Calhoun Road) is our meeting spot for a night of encouragement and real talk. Come one, come all, bring a guest, and let's grow together. This is going to be epic! RSVP to claim your FREE spot now - works only on laptop and desktop.
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