So You Think You've Met The One, Now What?

SO YOU THINK YOU'VE MET THE ONE, NOW WHAT?

What a loaded question?! Now, this is primarily for those who are single, dating and even courting however, you married ladies can still take away some nuggets of truth. I absolutely love the power of books, blogs, articles, seminars, conferences etc. but I also believe they’re more impactful when practical instructions are offered on how to implement the wisdom being conferred. With that being said, the three points below are my offerings to you on tips and revelations that have worked for me whether you anticipate meeting the one, you’ve already met the one, or you’re already married to the one.

1. Pray boldly

By boldly I mean: direct, sincere and grand! One of my favorite quotes comes from “The Circle Maker” by Mark Batterson and it’s so simple yet so profound: ‘God honors bold prayers because bold prayers honor God.’ (see: John 14:14)

*Selah*

When in faith you pray beyond your circumstances, you invite the ‘super’ into your natural to create a supernatural breakthrough. My church held a revival in October 2016 and each of the prophets discussed:

• writing down what you want – desires for you as a spouse and for your husband (current or future) (Matthew 7:8,  Philippians 4:6 – God tells us constantly that He’s a supplier of needs, what do you want from Him In this area?)
• allow God to readjust “your list” (Psalm 119:133; Proverbs 3:5-6 - does it align to God’s word and will for you? How can he best get the glory?) and,
• reject anything that doesn’t resemble what you prayed for. (Matthew 21:22; Psalm 37:4 - If you trust the desire the Lord has placed in our heart, know that He will deliver. In the meantime, be aware that the enemy loves to send counterfeits).

God is only limited to the box we put Him in. Spend time talking/ journaling to Him and spend time after in silence inviting Him to speak back to you.

2. Cultivate a friendship with each other

We’ve heard it said many times that the foundation of a great relationship is an authentic friendship. Also, you want to get in the habit of spending time with each other doing activities that invite intimacy without crossing sexual boundaries. When you see each other in a group setting, are forced to get creative, to learn how each of you communicates, how you both respond to winning or losing, how each of you grew up, etc. especially before beginning a dating or courting relationship, it helps set a standard for what might become your normal. I say “might” because you both have to be intentional about what boundaries you will maintain and who you’ll invite as your accountability partners(s).

What this also does is it helps your closest supports scope out your love interest and offer feedback on what they learned about his character, how the two of you would mesh, what areas the two of you should focus on growing in and how they think he’ll treat you moving forward. This is key because when we are crushing on someone they are literally the most perfect person who can do no wrong, am I lying? Your friends and family on the other hand don’t have the same biases and can help you see ‘clearer’ in cases where the person may not fit what you ‘prayed boldly’ for as I mentioned in point number one above. This means you have to share your list with someone TRUSTWORTHY. Key word: trustworthy.

3. Pray ahead

Prayer is so important I had to list it twice. Ummm, why wouldn’t you want to stay in constant communication with your creator but also the creator of your love interest? I mean, God holds the manual to your potential boo’s heart and He can help best in understanding Him more than anyone, including yourself, can. Most importantly though, when you understand that you finding a spouse means God has entrusting you with this person’s life on earth and beyond, it takes your obedience, love, submission and trustworthiness with both God and him to another level!

I was watching an interview on Youtube between John Piper and Rick Warren and one of the points discussed was that as a culture, we’re so used to instant gratification that we aren’t really living life in view of eternity. The decisions we make today, separately and together, create ripple effects on earth, beneath the earth and in the heavens. It really had me thinking because if you look at your relationship as a soul connection with another Soul (which will live even after the flesh perishes) which has a great purpose on earth that you’ve been called as a “helpmeet” to, you’ll become more aware of how our actions have eternal ramifications.

This is a huge concept that requires you to intentionally sit and meditate on it, through the help of the Holy Spirit, in order to start grasping the magnitude of why marriage is a ministry and why it represents Christ’s love for the church. If anyone had an eternal mindset, it was Christ Himself. This was strong enough and important enough for him to pray “nevertheless not my will but your will be done” in Luke 22:42, at a moment where he would’ve loved to skip His own death. Thanks be to God that He never forgot what the cross would accomplish and He willingly laid down His life for us.

Side bar: This cannot be left unsaid: Do not get in the way of your own prayers being answered. What do I mean?

1. God may show you that the person you’re interested in is not for you. Let go. Don’t force it. (refer to part B of #2 below)
2. If you’re already with someone, the same might happen. Trust that if you thought this person was amazing, God is asking you to let him go for someone infinitely better.
3. When you pray, God shows you yourself and your shortcomings. Allow Him to begin working on them immediately. Don’t delay. Don’t justify why you need to stay the same. Embrace the process and the change.
4. Are you struggling with sexual sin? Masturbation, Fornication, Pornography, etc? Whether in a relationship or not, these issues create a divide between God and your partner whether you see it or feel it. Accept that you’re struggling. Do not justify continuing in it. Hate the sin and trust you serve a God that can liberate you from it. Seek help and accountability please. Your eternity depends on it, remember?
5. Your love story is unique to you and your boo. Don’t play the comparison game with other relationships whether famous or that you know. Things won’t play out exactly as another couple’s story but when you walk with God, you won’t miss how He’s moving even when it doesn’t resemble your expectations.

Only you know what areas God is convicting you in. Let Him do His thing. You will NEVER regret the results.

Grace and peace lovelies.

Bernie Muinga | Blog