Text: 1 Corinthians 7:34
What’s the point of singleness, anyway? I remember pondering this one night, not with any resentment towards God, but just with a genuine wonder as to why I was single. Through the prompting of the Spirit, I found that to answer this question, I had to embrace why I lived…
We are made by God, and called to know and live for God. Yes, we know that not everyone lives for Him but this was His intention for mankind from the beginning: that men and women would glorify Him (see Isaiah 43:7). He is to be our purpose on earth. Once grasping this truth, it is much easier to navigate our single years, as well as understand their purpose: a time to serve Christ without reserve.
1 Corinthians 7:34 gives a very clear picture on what we are to do in singleness: “The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord.” I believe then that the purpose for being single is to obsessively tend to the things of Jesus and the ministry of the Gospel – to use this “free” season to serve Him undividedly in ways that we’d be unable to do in another season of our life.
This is not to say that if were to get married later on that we would be unable to care about the things of the Lord or be unable to serve Him wholeheartedly (don’t misunderstand, ladies!). Married women are called to do the same, only in a differently focused way (i.e. a helpmeet to a husband). But the specialness about singleness is that we are God’s direct helpmeet – His very work is our own responsibility, and we are free to do it without limitations.
An example of this is Amy Carmichael, a single Irishwoman who moved to India to be a missionary. She was entirely free to do God’s work that maybe others (wives and mothers) couldn’t do necessarily in their own God-given callings. But there came a point when Amy could no longer travel and preach the Gospel as she used to. Why? Because Amy became a “mother” to eight girls whom she rescued from Indian temples and her responsibility suddenly shifted from the radical work of a missionary to the simplicity of being “mother” to her adopted daughters. It wasn’t that Amy no longer cared for Jesus or ministering the Gospel; she did, but in a focused position to caring for these girls as He had called her to.
We should remember this concept when considering the purpose of our singleness. Because we don’t yet carry the godly responsibility of marriage and motherhood, we are free, and should all the more seek to sacrificially pour out our lives into the work that wives and mothers are unable to do.
This is what singleness in Jesus is all about: it’s being free from vocation but free enough for the ministry of Christ without distraction.
Showing posts with label maximize your singleness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label maximize your singleness. Show all posts
March 12, 2017
So You Think You've Met The One, Now What?
SO YOU THINK YOU'VE MET THE ONE, NOW WHAT?
What a loaded question?! Now, this is primarily for those who are single, dating and even courting however, you married ladies can still take away some nuggets of truth. I absolutely love the power of books, blogs, articles, seminars, conferences etc. but I also believe they’re more impactful when practical instructions are offered on how to implement the wisdom being conferred. With that being said, the three points below are my offerings to you on tips and revelations that have worked for me whether you anticipate meeting the one, you’ve already met the one, or you’re already married to the one.
1. Pray boldly
By boldly I mean: direct, sincere and grand! One of my favorite quotes comes from “The Circle Maker” by Mark Batterson and it’s so simple yet so profound: ‘God honors bold prayers because bold prayers honor God.’ (see: John 14:14)
February 19, 2017
How to Maximize your Singleness Devotional: Week 6
Text: Genesis 32:24-26
Our culture places so much emphasis on being married or being in a relationship that being alone is considered undesirable and less than. A poll asked singles what they thought was their biggest struggle—sexual temptation and trying to be content—ranked behind being alone and lonely. But being alone is a beautiful opportunity to turn down the volume of our lives and to spend time in God’s presence.
A quote by Lynn Whitfield makes a powerful observation. She says, “the stillness to get out of our own way and feel God’s presence is difficult because our instinct is to never be alone.” God longs to be with us, but worldly distractions keep us from being alone in His presence. Anything that pulls us away from seeking God above all else is a distraction. Even the good things that we do for Jesus could be a distraction.
In Luke chapter 10, Jesus visited the home of sisters Mary and Martha. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and “listened to his word,” while Martha was distracted by “much service.” Jesus says to Martha in Luke 10:41, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things.” Jesus valued Mary being alone with Him, more than he valued Martha doing things for Him. As single women, nothing can distract us from God like being in a relationship or wanting to be in a relationship.
We stay in relationships longer than we should because we feel any relationship is better than being alone. We find ourselves lowering our standards just so we don’t have to be alone. “The love life of a Christian is a crucial battleground,” wrote Elisabeth Elliot in Passion and Purity. “There, if nowhere else, it will be determined as to who is Lord: the world, the self and the devil, or the Lord Christ.”
When we are distracted—be it relationships, social media, activities, worldly pursuits, or even good things—we miss out on an amazing encounter with God. In the thirty second chapter of Genesis, Jacob’s life was forever changed when he was left alone. Genesis 32:24 says, “So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak”. (NIV) God pursued Jacob to wrestle with him. God blessed Jacob when he was intentional about being alone and knowing Him.
Know that God loves you and that being alone does not take away your value. God wants to do amazing things with you, through your singleness, if you would surrender to His wonderful plan for your life. Psalm 139:23-24 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (NIV)
What distractions are keeping you from being alone with God? What would God pursue you to wrestle with you about? Are you desperate enough for God to not let you go, until he blesses and changes you for His glory?
Debbie Milton | Blog
Debbie served as a guest speaker for the She is Set Apart 2016 Singles Conference - click here to access her workshop and keynote sessions.
Our culture places so much emphasis on being married or being in a relationship that being alone is considered undesirable and less than. A poll asked singles what they thought was their biggest struggle—sexual temptation and trying to be content—ranked behind being alone and lonely. But being alone is a beautiful opportunity to turn down the volume of our lives and to spend time in God’s presence.
A quote by Lynn Whitfield makes a powerful observation. She says, “the stillness to get out of our own way and feel God’s presence is difficult because our instinct is to never be alone.” God longs to be with us, but worldly distractions keep us from being alone in His presence. Anything that pulls us away from seeking God above all else is a distraction. Even the good things that we do for Jesus could be a distraction.
In Luke chapter 10, Jesus visited the home of sisters Mary and Martha. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and “listened to his word,” while Martha was distracted by “much service.” Jesus says to Martha in Luke 10:41, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things.” Jesus valued Mary being alone with Him, more than he valued Martha doing things for Him. As single women, nothing can distract us from God like being in a relationship or wanting to be in a relationship.
We stay in relationships longer than we should because we feel any relationship is better than being alone. We find ourselves lowering our standards just so we don’t have to be alone. “The love life of a Christian is a crucial battleground,” wrote Elisabeth Elliot in Passion and Purity. “There, if nowhere else, it will be determined as to who is Lord: the world, the self and the devil, or the Lord Christ.”
When we are distracted—be it relationships, social media, activities, worldly pursuits, or even good things—we miss out on an amazing encounter with God. In the thirty second chapter of Genesis, Jacob’s life was forever changed when he was left alone. Genesis 32:24 says, “So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak”. (NIV) God pursued Jacob to wrestle with him. God blessed Jacob when he was intentional about being alone and knowing Him.
Know that God loves you and that being alone does not take away your value. God wants to do amazing things with you, through your singleness, if you would surrender to His wonderful plan for your life. Psalm 139:23-24 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (NIV)
What distractions are keeping you from being alone with God? What would God pursue you to wrestle with you about? Are you desperate enough for God to not let you go, until he blesses and changes you for His glory?
Debbie Milton | Blog
Debbie served as a guest speaker for the She is Set Apart 2016 Singles Conference - click here to access her workshop and keynote sessions.
February 5, 2017
How to Maximize Your Singleness Devotional: Week 4
Text: Proverbs 4:23
Someone said, "when your conscience is speaking to you, it's actually your society speaking." Our society contributes greatly to shaping our mindsets and perspectives about life, right from our birth. It decides for us what is acceptable or not, honourable or not, decent or not.
In my case, my society (and by society, I mean peers) taught me that it was socially unacceptable to have never been in a relationship at my age, let alone still be a virgin, mind you I am only 20 years old. It was sort of an unspoken code and I had to struggle to fit in, to be part of the 'crew'.
One thing I learned after all the hurt and rejection I got because of the simple fact that I was a virgin, was that I let it happen. I let myself be affected by the pressure, the latent mockery, the indiscreet comments, I did not guard my heart.
Guarding your heart is not a snap-of-the-finger thing. It will take effort to not feel anything when your society is psychologically assaulting you. But it is worth it, because you end up a better person, not shaped by society and its schemes. You can own your life, your decisions and just be you and completely love yourself! Guard your heart.
Glory Mafor | Blog
Someone said, "when your conscience is speaking to you, it's actually your society speaking." Our society contributes greatly to shaping our mindsets and perspectives about life, right from our birth. It decides for us what is acceptable or not, honourable or not, decent or not.
In my case, my society (and by society, I mean peers) taught me that it was socially unacceptable to have never been in a relationship at my age, let alone still be a virgin, mind you I am only 20 years old. It was sort of an unspoken code and I had to struggle to fit in, to be part of the 'crew'.
One thing I learned after all the hurt and rejection I got because of the simple fact that I was a virgin, was that I let it happen. I let myself be affected by the pressure, the latent mockery, the indiscreet comments, I did not guard my heart.
Guarding your heart is not a snap-of-the-finger thing. It will take effort to not feel anything when your society is psychologically assaulting you. But it is worth it, because you end up a better person, not shaped by society and its schemes. You can own your life, your decisions and just be you and completely love yourself! Guard your heart.
Glory Mafor | Blog
January 29, 2017
How to Maximize Your Singleness Devotional: Week 3
Text: Luke 13:11-13
Hello my lovely singles! A dear friend of mine once said: “…one thing you DO NOT want to do is get into a relationship with low self-esteem. You will begin to question your boyfriend/husband’s faithfulness, his truthfulness [about being beautiful] and your negative thoughts become power, and that power consumes you, making you feel like the ugliest being on the planet and that makes you feel alone -- even when you are coupled.” WOW! Powerful statement, right?
You know, it’s my opinion that as children of God, many Spirit-filled believers may not be whole in certain areas. Allow me to explain. *Lea was friends with Mike for a few years before they decided they liked each other. Lea was saved, in school, working and loving life. Mike was also saved, educated, and a hard-working guy. They dated for awhile–all giddy with excitement about marriage, kids and maybe even a dog🙂. But, they didn’t make it. And it wasn’t all HIS fault. While Lea was Holy-Ghost filled, she was NOT healed from the hurts from her past relationships---and that manifested itself in various ways. For example, Lea wasn’t a big sports fan, but would muster up excitement while watching ESPN with Mike. Hey, she hadn’t had a date in years and didn’t want to mess this up. When Mike cancelled dates at the last minute, Lea was upset, but rather than talk about it, she pretended she was ok. After all, she didn’t want to seem like a nag and wanted to prove she was Christ-like and able to forgive. She even lied to him about how far she went with past boyfriends, so he’d stay interested in her. In short, Lea’s self-esteem was so low, she felt she had to be a certain way in order to keep him around and interested. It was tiring to Lea to keep pretending, but it was the only way she knew to operate so he’d stick around. Eventually one thing led to another, and the relationship ended. Lea, (like many other women) was so battle-weary from past rejections, hurts, self-doubt, watching friends get boyfriends/married, etc., that when this guy came along, she allowed the whispers of doubt and fear from the enemy control her thoughts and actions. This is where she needed to allow the Lord to come in and heal her.
This reminds me of the woman with the spirit of infirmity Luke 13:11-13. She had lived with this issue for eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no way lift up herself. For Lea, every rejection, negative comment, the tormenting voices–all that pain began to pile up and weigh her down to a point where she could not lift herself up, like many of us. But just as Jesus saw and called the woman to be loosed from her infirmity, He is calling to us to be healed as well!
Facing up to the things that hurt us is difficult and painful, but so is carrying it around! And with healing from Jesus, you don’t have to anymore! Jesus is calling us to be made whole in all the areas of our lives, foremost for HIS glory, as we fulfill the great commission (see Matthew 28:19), which will in turn, prepare us for a potential mate, if that is God's will. Either way, Jesus wants you to be made whole!
Today, ask God in faith to lift you up from all areas you are bowed down in, bless you to be confident through Him, and replace the areas of fear with His perfect love (I John 4:18). Take comfort in knowing that it is His pleasure to heal you and then walk upright and see the “whole” bright future God has for you! God bless you! *Names have been changed to protect identities
Guest blogger - Blenda Anderson | Blog
Blenda served as a guest speaker for the She is Set Apart 2016 Singles Conference - click here to access her workshop sessions.
Hello my lovely singles! A dear friend of mine once said: “…one thing you DO NOT want to do is get into a relationship with low self-esteem. You will begin to question your boyfriend/husband’s faithfulness, his truthfulness [about being beautiful] and your negative thoughts become power, and that power consumes you, making you feel like the ugliest being on the planet and that makes you feel alone -- even when you are coupled.” WOW! Powerful statement, right?
You know, it’s my opinion that as children of God, many Spirit-filled believers may not be whole in certain areas. Allow me to explain. *Lea was friends with Mike for a few years before they decided they liked each other. Lea was saved, in school, working and loving life. Mike was also saved, educated, and a hard-working guy. They dated for awhile–all giddy with excitement about marriage, kids and maybe even a dog🙂. But, they didn’t make it. And it wasn’t all HIS fault. While Lea was Holy-Ghost filled, she was NOT healed from the hurts from her past relationships---and that manifested itself in various ways. For example, Lea wasn’t a big sports fan, but would muster up excitement while watching ESPN with Mike. Hey, she hadn’t had a date in years and didn’t want to mess this up. When Mike cancelled dates at the last minute, Lea was upset, but rather than talk about it, she pretended she was ok. After all, she didn’t want to seem like a nag and wanted to prove she was Christ-like and able to forgive. She even lied to him about how far she went with past boyfriends, so he’d stay interested in her. In short, Lea’s self-esteem was so low, she felt she had to be a certain way in order to keep him around and interested. It was tiring to Lea to keep pretending, but it was the only way she knew to operate so he’d stick around. Eventually one thing led to another, and the relationship ended. Lea, (like many other women) was so battle-weary from past rejections, hurts, self-doubt, watching friends get boyfriends/married, etc., that when this guy came along, she allowed the whispers of doubt and fear from the enemy control her thoughts and actions. This is where she needed to allow the Lord to come in and heal her.
This reminds me of the woman with the spirit of infirmity Luke 13:11-13. She had lived with this issue for eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no way lift up herself. For Lea, every rejection, negative comment, the tormenting voices–all that pain began to pile up and weigh her down to a point where she could not lift herself up, like many of us. But just as Jesus saw and called the woman to be loosed from her infirmity, He is calling to us to be healed as well!
Facing up to the things that hurt us is difficult and painful, but so is carrying it around! And with healing from Jesus, you don’t have to anymore! Jesus is calling us to be made whole in all the areas of our lives, foremost for HIS glory, as we fulfill the great commission (see Matthew 28:19), which will in turn, prepare us for a potential mate, if that is God's will. Either way, Jesus wants you to be made whole!
Today, ask God in faith to lift you up from all areas you are bowed down in, bless you to be confident through Him, and replace the areas of fear with His perfect love (I John 4:18). Take comfort in knowing that it is His pleasure to heal you and then walk upright and see the “whole” bright future God has for you! God bless you! *Names have been changed to protect identities
Guest blogger - Blenda Anderson | Blog
Blenda served as a guest speaker for the She is Set Apart 2016 Singles Conference - click here to access her workshop sessions.
January 15, 2017
How To Maximize Your Singleness Devotional: Week 1
Text: Mark 11:13-14
I use to be very insecure about myself. I would always compare myself with some others sisters in the Lord. This comparison would bring nothing but fears, depression and doubt. Every time I would compare myself with someone, I would be filled with the fear of failing and think 'low' about myself. Because of this, it slowed down my growth in the Lord.
Have you ever compared yourself to someone? Especially to another single Christian Lady? Well, I am sure that you know by now that you will not enjoy your singleness if you keep doing it.
Our singleness is a sensitive period where God shapes our character and even polishes it. When I think of singleness, I have in mind the picture of a teenager that has to mature to enter into the real world.
Marriage is not for babies but for adults. God wants us to mature in all the areas of our lives. After God taught me about marriage, He showed me why I had to wait. He told me that I was created to become the helper of someone else. But how can you be a helper if you are not mature and productive? How can you help someone if you are unfruitful?
God taught me about fruitfulness. You and I have to bear fruits in order to maximize our singleness. Before Adam saw Eve, he already had a mission and vision. He was doing something with his life. Do not become the burden of someone else. You need to be fruitful in all you do. This is how you will maximize your singleness.
God is so serious about fruitfulness that through Jesus He cursed a fig tree because it was not bearing fruits! Although the Word tells us that it was not yet the season for figs, it didn’t change Jesus’ mind. No matter the season, this tree had to bear fruits. Do not wait to be married to be productive! What do you have in your hands? In which department are you serving in your church? Are you a soul winner? Do you talk to your friends about Jesus? Do you pray for your friends when they are sick? Do you pray for your leaders, your church? If you are leading a group, are your sheep growing under your leadership? What are you sowing and what are you reaping? God is serious about fruitfulness. Any talent God put in us must mature and I think as we are still single, it is the proper time for us to develop and build a strong foundation for our ministries and personal walk with Jesus.
Maximize your singleness by desiring to mature. Be fruitful in all the areas of your life. Do not preach the message but be the message. When we are fruitful, it is only showing that we are in good health but also that God is happy with us. May we be fruitful trees in Jesus Name!
Guest Blogger - Tabitha Larissa Joy Ondo | Blogger
I use to be very insecure about myself. I would always compare myself with some others sisters in the Lord. This comparison would bring nothing but fears, depression and doubt. Every time I would compare myself with someone, I would be filled with the fear of failing and think 'low' about myself. Because of this, it slowed down my growth in the Lord.
Have you ever compared yourself to someone? Especially to another single Christian Lady? Well, I am sure that you know by now that you will not enjoy your singleness if you keep doing it.
Our singleness is a sensitive period where God shapes our character and even polishes it. When I think of singleness, I have in mind the picture of a teenager that has to mature to enter into the real world.
Marriage is not for babies but for adults. God wants us to mature in all the areas of our lives. After God taught me about marriage, He showed me why I had to wait. He told me that I was created to become the helper of someone else. But how can you be a helper if you are not mature and productive? How can you help someone if you are unfruitful?
God taught me about fruitfulness. You and I have to bear fruits in order to maximize our singleness. Before Adam saw Eve, he already had a mission and vision. He was doing something with his life. Do not become the burden of someone else. You need to be fruitful in all you do. This is how you will maximize your singleness.
God is so serious about fruitfulness that through Jesus He cursed a fig tree because it was not bearing fruits! Although the Word tells us that it was not yet the season for figs, it didn’t change Jesus’ mind. No matter the season, this tree had to bear fruits. Do not wait to be married to be productive! What do you have in your hands? In which department are you serving in your church? Are you a soul winner? Do you talk to your friends about Jesus? Do you pray for your friends when they are sick? Do you pray for your leaders, your church? If you are leading a group, are your sheep growing under your leadership? What are you sowing and what are you reaping? God is serious about fruitfulness. Any talent God put in us must mature and I think as we are still single, it is the proper time for us to develop and build a strong foundation for our ministries and personal walk with Jesus.
Maximize your singleness by desiring to mature. Be fruitful in all the areas of your life. Do not preach the message but be the message. When we are fruitful, it is only showing that we are in good health but also that God is happy with us. May we be fruitful trees in Jesus Name!
Guest Blogger - Tabitha Larissa Joy Ondo | Blogger