Journey to Favor

I always saw myself as a wife. I could cook, clean and perform my wifely duties as appropriate. So I knew that once I found the right man my natural wifely abilities would naturally shine through. I had it all figured out. I could quote Proverbs 18 :22 backwards.


“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor in the Lord.”

I was favor I was a good thing. I trailed through one relationship after another trying to prove I was favor. And when they ended badly I would
always say, “He just didn’t realize the good thing he had.” This was a pattern I followed for years trying to make a man see me as favorable. Only to be disappointed when he left me to pursue someone else just as promising. I was on a collision course with destruction and we were just about to collide. I had to change, my mind had to change, my ideas had to change. First change that took place was relationships took a back seat to my Father. I had to put God in his rightful position in my life. God could not and would ride shotgun in my sinful relationship endeavors. He had to be the driver of my love life. I came to place where I realized being single was a gift to be embraced. Once I gave my life to God amazing things started to happen. I realized that I was already favorable to him. God loved me I was his “good thing”. I didn’t have to be a great cook, an excellent house keeper or a gymnast in the bedroom. He loved me just as I was. Once I allowed God into my life he revealed to me a life that this world just was not capable of giving me. I could no longer use culture and the world to give me the tools I needed to make me “wife material”. I had to seek the author of marriage to understand. I had to read the greatest love story ever written to understand what an appropriate help meet was. As I started living a life that centered around Matthew 6:33,

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God as his righteousness and all these will be added to you”


I learned many valuable life lessons:


God and sin couldn’t be roommates in my life. I served a Father who was jealous for me. I couldn’t continue my premarital sexual relationships and I couldn’t be anyone’s live in boo. I couldn’t expect God to bless my worldly unions. All ungodly soul ties had to severed.


I had to respect order. God brought Eve to Adam. So I had to allow God to bring me to the man that he has called me to be a help meet to. If I am out looking for my own husband that is not in order. And where there is disorder God is not in the midst.


Everything I learned in the world about marriage and relationships was a lie. A true help meet knows that her greatest asset to her husband is her wisdom, Not her bedroom skills. A wife knows how to pray for her husband, submit to him, and be led by him. This type of understanding can only come from God.








Today I see myself with the same eyes my God sees me with. I am favorable and one day in due season I will be a fitting help meet for a man after God’s own heart. But in the mean time I will continue to submit all that is me to the greatest husband in the world my Lord Jesus Christ.

Ashley Smith is a native Houstonian who currently is working towards becoming a registered nurse. She believes that all women have the potential to be excellent help meets if they seek God’s guidance and love.

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