Text: Genesis 32:24-26
Our culture places so much emphasis on being married or being in a relationship that being alone is considered undesirable and less than. A poll asked singles what they thought was their biggest struggle—sexual temptation and trying to be content—ranked behind being alone and lonely. But being alone is a beautiful opportunity to turn down the volume of our lives and to spend time in God’s presence.
A quote by Lynn Whitfield makes a powerful observation. She says, “the stillness to get out of our own way and feel God’s presence is difficult because our instinct is to never be alone.” God longs to be with us, but worldly distractions keep us from being alone in His presence. Anything that pulls us away from seeking God above all else is a distraction. Even the good things that we do for Jesus could be a distraction.
In Luke chapter 10, Jesus visited the home of sisters Mary and Martha. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and “listened to his word,” while Martha was distracted by “much service.” Jesus says to Martha in Luke 10:41, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things.” Jesus valued Mary being alone with Him, more than he valued Martha doing things for Him. As single women, nothing can distract us from God like being in a relationship or wanting to be in a relationship.
We stay in relationships longer than we should because we feel any relationship is better than being alone. We find ourselves lowering our standards just so we don’t have to be alone. “The love life of a Christian is a crucial battleground,” wrote Elisabeth Elliot in Passion and Purity. “There, if nowhere else, it will be determined as to who is Lord: the world, the self and the devil, or the Lord Christ.”
When we are distracted—be it relationships, social media, activities, worldly pursuits, or even good things—we miss out on an amazing encounter with God. In the thirty second chapter of Genesis, Jacob’s life was forever changed when he was left alone. Genesis 32:24 says, “So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak”. (NIV) God pursued Jacob to wrestle with him. God blessed Jacob when he was intentional about being alone and knowing Him.
Know that God loves you and that being alone does not take away your value. God wants to do amazing things with you, through your singleness, if you would surrender to His wonderful plan for your life. Psalm 139:23-24 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (NIV)
What distractions are keeping you from being alone with God? What would God pursue you to wrestle with you about? Are you desperate enough for God to not let you go, until he blesses and changes you for His glory?
Debbie Milton | Blog
Debbie served as a guest speaker for the She is Set Apart 2016 Singles Conference - click here to access her workshop and keynote sessions.
February 19, 2017
February 12, 2017
How to Maximize Your Singleness Devotional: Week 5
Text: 1 Cor. 13:4, 5
I can remember one Valentine’s Day when my older sister threw herself on my bed and complained to me how unfortunate it was for us to be single yet another year. Apparently as girls, we were missing out on everything that the dating, engaged, and married girls were getting on this day – love notes, flowers, chocolates, snuggles, words of affirmation, and more. She felt left out, she wasn’t being loved and treated the way other girls were on February 14th and almost succeeded in making me feel the same.
Am I right when I say that this feeling is what the majority of us single girls suffer with every Valentine’s Day? It seems like everybody, everywhere is posting all their cute couple pictures and love stories, and us single girls can easily feel like we’re missing out.
While we are single in Christ, it is easy to feel envious or even cheated because of what others have and what others are getting on this day of the year. But this feeling is neither of, nor in the love of Christ. Our own Lord’s life was not about getting something but giving and we are commanded to take on His example.
Amidst the love-fest we see on movies or social media, being single on Valentine’s Day is no excuse for us to become jealous, angry, or self-centered. We must resist that temptation and put our eyes back on Jesus, who, let’s not forget, is our True Love. In Him we find all the romance, love, and fulfillment we could ever need!
What if in our season of singleness, we take Valentine’s Day and use it to express the love of Christ to others? Rather than fretting over our own wants and needs being met, what if we made the most of the day in order to benefit others? It could be as simple as baking cookies for our siblings, getting together with fellow single girls to make valentines for future husbands, or as big as going out of our way for the poor, afflicted, sick, and imprisoned (those very near to God’s heart). This way we can make the most out of our singleness on Valentine’s Day by giving to others.
Abby Elijiah | Blog
I can remember one Valentine’s Day when my older sister threw herself on my bed and complained to me how unfortunate it was for us to be single yet another year. Apparently as girls, we were missing out on everything that the dating, engaged, and married girls were getting on this day – love notes, flowers, chocolates, snuggles, words of affirmation, and more. She felt left out, she wasn’t being loved and treated the way other girls were on February 14th and almost succeeded in making me feel the same.
Am I right when I say that this feeling is what the majority of us single girls suffer with every Valentine’s Day? It seems like everybody, everywhere is posting all their cute couple pictures and love stories, and us single girls can easily feel like we’re missing out.
While we are single in Christ, it is easy to feel envious or even cheated because of what others have and what others are getting on this day of the year. But this feeling is neither of, nor in the love of Christ. Our own Lord’s life was not about getting something but giving and we are commanded to take on His example.
Amidst the love-fest we see on movies or social media, being single on Valentine’s Day is no excuse for us to become jealous, angry, or self-centered. We must resist that temptation and put our eyes back on Jesus, who, let’s not forget, is our True Love. In Him we find all the romance, love, and fulfillment we could ever need!
What if in our season of singleness, we take Valentine’s Day and use it to express the love of Christ to others? Rather than fretting over our own wants and needs being met, what if we made the most of the day in order to benefit others? It could be as simple as baking cookies for our siblings, getting together with fellow single girls to make valentines for future husbands, or as big as going out of our way for the poor, afflicted, sick, and imprisoned (those very near to God’s heart). This way we can make the most out of our singleness on Valentine’s Day by giving to others.
Abby Elijiah | Blog
February 5, 2017
How to Maximize Your Singleness Devotional: Week 4
Text: Proverbs 4:23
Someone said, "when your conscience is speaking to you, it's actually your society speaking." Our society contributes greatly to shaping our mindsets and perspectives about life, right from our birth. It decides for us what is acceptable or not, honourable or not, decent or not.
In my case, my society (and by society, I mean peers) taught me that it was socially unacceptable to have never been in a relationship at my age, let alone still be a virgin, mind you I am only 20 years old. It was sort of an unspoken code and I had to struggle to fit in, to be part of the 'crew'.
One thing I learned after all the hurt and rejection I got because of the simple fact that I was a virgin, was that I let it happen. I let myself be affected by the pressure, the latent mockery, the indiscreet comments, I did not guard my heart.
Guarding your heart is not a snap-of-the-finger thing. It will take effort to not feel anything when your society is psychologically assaulting you. But it is worth it, because you end up a better person, not shaped by society and its schemes. You can own your life, your decisions and just be you and completely love yourself! Guard your heart.
Glory Mafor | Blog
Someone said, "when your conscience is speaking to you, it's actually your society speaking." Our society contributes greatly to shaping our mindsets and perspectives about life, right from our birth. It decides for us what is acceptable or not, honourable or not, decent or not.
In my case, my society (and by society, I mean peers) taught me that it was socially unacceptable to have never been in a relationship at my age, let alone still be a virgin, mind you I am only 20 years old. It was sort of an unspoken code and I had to struggle to fit in, to be part of the 'crew'.
One thing I learned after all the hurt and rejection I got because of the simple fact that I was a virgin, was that I let it happen. I let myself be affected by the pressure, the latent mockery, the indiscreet comments, I did not guard my heart.
Guarding your heart is not a snap-of-the-finger thing. It will take effort to not feel anything when your society is psychologically assaulting you. But it is worth it, because you end up a better person, not shaped by society and its schemes. You can own your life, your decisions and just be you and completely love yourself! Guard your heart.
Glory Mafor | Blog