How to Maximize Your Singleness Devotional: Week 7

Text: Isaiah 40:31

“A gentleman always knows when.” Those are the words my first lady shared with me that put my heart so at ease it shocked me for a second. That was a major a-ha moment for me after such a powerful morning service where pastor had preached such a powerful word on knowing your purpose and surrendering your will totally to the Lord. I mean it’s not a new topic (I mean what is discussed more than purpose and relationships?) so you might wonder why the excitement. However, the best thing about serving a living God and having access to His living Word is the same scriptures and topics always bring new revelations; the Word only gets better and your knowledge can only get deeper.

Anyway, we were chit chatting about my relationship status and my interest in a certain someone who was taking his sweet time to begin our courtship *wink wink* and this was her response. So short yet so sweet. And soothing; calming to my soul. I needed that. This was around the time i was so high strung on relationship talk, prayers, blogs, devotions, books, pinterest boards, seminars, workshops, you name it! Nothing wrong with preparing my heart for a spouse and learning to appreciate my singleness but my level of obsession needed a chill pill but I had no clue about that!

What I came to learn was that he was moving according to the will of God and me trying to rush ahead of him and especially of God, introduces an opportunity for disobedience.

Side bar: Let’s be conscious of how our “innocent intentions” set others up to sin and fall short of the glory of God. A good thing isn’t necessarily always a God thing. Chew on that for a minute; Selah.

Then we blame God or drift away from Him while blaming Him for the outcomes of our impatience. He never asked for our help with anything except “go ye therefore into all the earth.…” And even then, He wasn’t asking for help as in ‘I can’t do this on my own’ more like ‘come partake in my awesomeness.’

So take heart. God knows when and your mister will know when too! You don’t need to help God or to help your crush to respond. Trust that God has you hidden until he says “when.” Right now, God is crushing on you and waiting for you to look up and notice how much he loves you and longs to be in a more intimate relationship with you. when will YOU make a move towards Him?

Bernie Muinga | Blog

How to Maximize your Singleness Devotional: Week 6

Text: Genesis 32:24-26

Our culture places so much emphasis on being married or being in a relationship that being alone is considered undesirable and less than. A poll asked singles what they thought was their biggest struggle—sexual temptation and trying to be content—ranked behind being alone and lonely. But being alone is a beautiful opportunity to turn down the volume of our lives and to spend time in God’s presence.  

A quote by Lynn Whitfield makes a powerful observation. She says, “the stillness to get out of our own way and feel God’s presence is difficult because our instinct is to never be alone.” God longs to be with us, but worldly distractions keep us from being alone in His presence. Anything that pulls us away from seeking God above all else is a distraction. Even the good things that we do for Jesus could be a distraction.  

In Luke chapter 10, Jesus visited the home of sisters Mary and Martha. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and “listened to his word,” while Martha was distracted by “much service.” Jesus says to Martha in Luke 10:41, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things.” Jesus valued Mary being alone with Him, more than he valued Martha doing things for Him. As single women, nothing can distract us from God like being in a relationship or wanting to be in a relationship.  

We stay in relationships longer than we should because we feel any relationship is better than being alone. We find ourselves lowering our standards just so we don’t have to be alone. “The love life of a Christian is a crucial battleground,” wrote Elisabeth Elliot in Passion and Purity. “There, if nowhere else, it will be determined as to who is Lord: the world, the self and the devil, or the Lord Christ.”  

When we are distracted—be it relationships, social media, activities, worldly pursuits, or even good things—we miss out on an amazing encounter with God. In the thirty second chapter of Genesis, Jacob’s life was forever changed when he was left alone. Genesis 32:24 says, “So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak”. (NIV) God pursued Jacob to wrestle with him. God blessed Jacob when he was intentional about being alone and knowing Him.  

Know that God loves you and that being alone does not take away your value. God wants to do amazing things with you, through your singleness, if you would surrender to His wonderful plan for your life. Psalm 139:23-24 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (NIV) 

What distractions are keeping you from being alone with God? What would God pursue you to wrestle with you about? Are you desperate enough for God to not let you go, until he blesses and changes you for His glory?


Debbie Milton | Blog

Debbie served as a guest speaker for the She is Set Apart 2016 Singles Conference - click here to access her workshop and keynote sessions.

How to Maximize Your Singleness Devotional: Week 5

Text: 1 Cor. 13:4, 5

I can remember one Valentine’s Day when my older sister threw herself on my bed and complained to me how unfortunate it was for us to be single yet another year. Apparently as girls, we were missing out on everything that the dating, engaged, and married girls were getting on this day – love notes, flowers, chocolates, snuggles, words of affirmation, and more. She felt left out, she wasn’t being loved and treated the way other girls were on February 14th and almost succeeded in making me feel the same.  

Am I right when I say that this feeling is what the majority of us single girls suffer with every Valentine’s Day? It seems like everybody, everywhere is posting all their cute couple pictures and love stories, and us single girls can easily feel like we’re missing out. 

While we are single in Christ, it is easy to feel envious or even cheated because of what others have and what others are getting on this day of the year. But this feeling is neither of, nor in the love of Christ. Our own Lord’s life was not about getting something but giving and we are commanded to take on His example.  

Amidst the love-fest we see on movies or social media, being single on Valentine’s Day is no excuse for us to become jealous, angry, or self-centered. We must resist that temptation and put our eyes back on Jesus, who, let’s not forget, is our True Love. In Him we find all the romance, love, and fulfillment we could ever need!  

What if in our season of singleness, we take Valentine’s Day and use it to express the love of Christ to others? Rather than fretting over our own wants and needs being met, what if we made the most of the day in order to benefit others? It could be as simple as baking cookies for our siblings, getting together with fellow single girls to make valentines for future husbands, or as big as going out of our way for the poor, afflicted, sick, and imprisoned (those very near to God’s heart). This way we can make the most out of our singleness on Valentine’s Day by giving to others.

Abby Elijiah | Blog

How to Maximize Your Singleness Devotional: Week 4

Text: Proverbs 4:23

Someone said, "when your conscience is speaking to you, it's actually your society speaking." Our society contributes greatly to shaping our mindsets and perspectives about life, right from our birth. It decides for us what is acceptable or not, honourable or not, decent or not. 

In my case, my society (and by society, I mean peers) taught me that it was socially unacceptable to have never been in a relationship at my age, let alone still be a virgin, mind you I am only 20 years old. It was sort of an unspoken code and I had to struggle to fit in, to be part of the 'crew'. 

One thing I learned after all the hurt and rejection I got because of the simple fact that I was a virgin, was that I let it happen. I let myself be affected by the pressure, the latent mockery, the indiscreet comments, I did not guard my heart. 

Guarding your heart is not a snap-of-the-finger thing. It will take effort to not feel anything when your society is psychologically assaulting you. But it is worth it, because you end up a better person, not shaped by society and its schemes. You can own your life, your decisions and just be you and completely love yourself! Guard your heart.


Glory Mafor | Blog

When Jesus is Your Prize: How to Flourish in Singleness

How often do we find ourselves complaining about how unsatisfying our lives are, how unhappy we’ll be until we can find the right guy to complete us? It seems like if we can only meet “the One” we’ll finally be complete and life will start once we’ve gotten married. If you use Instagram, it’s hard to escape all the pictures of cute couples, gorgeous weddings, and happily married women that are out there. It seems like marriage just makes everything so darn perfect. It’s no wonder that singleness is treated like a nuisance, a condition that has to be gotten rid of – it’s a time of loneliness, it would seem, spent in tears, endless fantasizing, and complete unhappiness because it seems like everyone else is getting their fill of what we’re apparently lacking in.

I think the reason that there is such a struggle with singleness is because most of us women are under the illusion that the only way to be happy, the only way to be “complete” is to be in a relationship with a guy. Nothing will make sense until we’ve gotten our walk down the aisle. But we’ve got it all wrong, ladies. A relationship with a guy could never make us whole – only Jesus Christ makes us whole. That hole in our hearts and souls can’t ever be filled by the love of an earthly man. Only Jesus Christ can fill and sustain us. So if the Lord makes us whole, even before a godly marriage, why aren’t we flourishing in that wholeness of Him in singleness?

Top 10 Blog Posts on Singleness for 2016

What a wonderful year it has been for She is Set Apart! We hosted our second She is Set Apart Singles conference - click here to access, launched our first ever devotional titled, Singleness = _________ - click here to access, and published some of the best blog posts on Biblical singleness. Let's take a look back at our Top 10 blog posts on Singleness of 2016.

Number 1. Not a Ruth (Why I Won't Ever Pursue A Man Again).


Number 2. Set Apart Spotlight ft. Ashleigh Manor 

Number 3. Set Apart Spotlight ft. Rosie Awori

Number 4. Fun Things to Do While Single

Number 5. Do Better

Number 6. What if He didn't Break Your Heart.

Number 7. Wait Well

Number 8. Never Been Kissed

Number 9. Set Apart Spotlight ft. Ida Pahus

Number 10. The Journey of Singleness

She is Set Apart Singles Conference 2016

Clear your calendar - It's going down! She is Set Apart Singles Conference kicks off on September 16th, and you're invited to take part in the festivities. We're making this conference virtual and it will be live and online. It's FREE so come one, come all, & share with a friend.. This is going to be transformational! Registration is required to access the live conference and to be eligible for any and all giveaways. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

So You Are Single?

“Yes. I am single. “I replied smiling. The man looked at me. He could not understand how a pretty woman like me could still be single at my age (I am 26 by the grace of God)!!! His reaction made me laugh. I mean why should I enter into a relationship, I asked him. He replied “I believe that A relationship will lead you into marriage”, I smiled and told him “A relationship should have a purpose; I cannot just date or enter in a marriage with no purpose and no vision.”

The Bible teaches us in John 3:16 that Christ was sent for a purpose. He was saved so we could not perish in hell but have everlasting life. By the Grace of God, I strongly believe that all I do and will do in the future has a purpose. My life has a purpose. My singleness has a purpose. My finances status has a purpose. My friendship has a purpose. If I remove the purpose, I remove my identity in Christ. Christ is my image and His Word tells me that all He does has a purpose.

How to Thrive in Your Singleness

This week we are sharing with you an interview we did with Yumi on thriving in your singleness.

In this interview we discuss the heart behind She is Set Apart. We also answer questions such as is being single during the holidays harder and is singleness looked down upon by society and the church?  We also give advice on dealing with loneliness in your singleness and how to prevent settling.

You can also click here to check out our interview we did with Yumi on our channel about how to be content during our singleness.

Set Apart SPOTLIGHT: Kirsten Neumann

I was reading a book a couple of weeks ago, and in it a character quoted Song of Solomon 8:6 “Place me like a seal on your arm and like a seal upon your heart.” This led me to listen to the song You Won’t Relent by Misty Edwards. 

For the last few years-since grade eight, really, God has been working in me and teaching me about love. It actually all started out because a guy I really, really liked kind of led me on and then told me he didn’t reciprocate the feelings after a few months.

So, God started showing me what love is. And not just Love, but how He saw me. He started giving me verses like Psalm 103: 17 “But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children.” Or leading me to books that really helped me see he loves me just the way I am.  

As an unmarried young lady, I’d like to get married someday. I have the whole white picket fence, two and a half kids and perfect husband who is completely romantic while working a good steady job and will never let me down. Unfortunately, even I know that it’s an unrealistic dream.

Being Patient Through the Process

My name is Kenyetta and I am currently pursuing a degree in business administration at a local community college.  I have been attending my school since the spring of 2013. Although the school is considered to be a 2-year institute that does not necessarily mean you are expected to complete your program within that exact time frame.

A few people have asked me, “Kenyetta, why have you not yet transferred to a 4-year college?” Well, I will first say that I am truly appreciative to be given the opportunity of receiving a higher education. Secondly, I personally chose to attend a Jr. College because it was affordable and I refused to take out student loans if I did not have to. Lastly, I was not fully sure of what I wanted to do in my life, so I thought it was best to take small steps.

With so many voices telling me which direction to take often left me feeling discouraged. Compared to many of my friends who were attending 4-year universities, I did not feel as capable of making such achievements. I would begin questioning if I was could actually excel in college. Continuously comparing myself was not the best way to handle my situation Overtime I began to appreciate more of what God was teaching me throughout this process, and that was patience.

Top Tips for Being Set Apart in College #SetApartLifestyle

Our speakers for the Set Apart Lifestyle: College event know all about being set apart in college for they have had to navigate their liberal college campus as a Christian. This week we will be sharing with you some of their resources on being set apart in college. 

Speaker: Joy Pedrow  - Website
"Transitioning from high school to college is a major change. New place to live, new friends, new classes, independence, and freedom. You have the freedom to do anything and be anyone you want. This freedom can lead to brokenness if you choose to follow the world instead of God." - Joy Pedrow


Speaker: Crystal Oji - YouTube Channel
In this video Crystal discusses most struggles saved Christians face in college. She also talks about things to expect as a saved Freshman going to college or a new individual in Christ. Lastly she also gives helpful tips to help you get through some tough times in college!


Host: Tierraney Richardson - Website

"One of these things is not like the other. That could have been the theme song that sums up my college years. I know how it feels to be an outsider. Everyone around you seems to be drinking, clubbing, and partying. And here you are the Christian girl holding to her morals who has no desire to engage in the type of "fun" everyone else seems to be a part of. So how do you survive? After all you are stuck there for four years. Four years that seem like an eternity but you will survive. That's your theme song. The key to my survival was..." Click Continue reading

Set Apart Lifestyle: College

Clear your calendar! Set Apart Lifestyle: College kicks off on March 25th, and you're invited to take part in the first of many She is Set Apart Lifestyle Events. Our topic is on being set apart in college.This FREE 3 hour event will feature a Q&A panel, mini-workshops, spoken word and more. The focus of this event is to give practical tips on how to navigate the college life while still living for Christ.  The University of Houston (4800 Calhoun Road) is our meeting spot for a night of encouragement and real talk. Come one, come all, bring a guest, and let's grow together. This is going to be epic! RSVP to claim your FREE spot now - works only on laptop and desktop.