Oh Be Careful Little Eyes

Back in the day I was a sucker for a good chick flick. If you were to scroll through my collection of movies while I was in college, you would think I had an addiction. My bookshelves were lined with romantic comedy after romantic comedy… and the occasional action movie (as long as it had a good love story).

What God meant for good

Romance movies have acquired a negative stigma among Christian women because they tend to be the culprit behind unrealistic expectations in relationships. For single women these movies can evoke a desire for a relationship that don’t really exist, and for married women chick flicks can cause tension when the woman realizes her husband doesn’t fit her skewed concept of who he should be.

Although the idea of romance predominantly perpetuated by media, causes such annoyances in our lives, it didn’t start out that way. If we take a look at the Bible as a whole, it’s one big love story, the overarching reality for every believer across the world.

Check it out …

Jesus, a king, forsakes his throne to come live in poverty to be with the woman that ravishes his heart. She ends up getting herself into some trouble (sin) and she’s facing the death penalty. To save her life he offers his, dies a gruesome death, and totally absolves her of her punishment.

To top everything off, he comes back to life and tells his betrothed that he’s going to prepare a place for her. Then one day, once his father gives the okay, he returns for his bride, marries her, and takes her to paradise.

*sigh*

Did you know that if you read from the Old Testament to the New that key events line up to the events of a Jewish wedding? I encourage you to do some research on that. You’ll get your mind literally blown to confetti bits once you discover how everything from the beginning to the end of the Bible leads to the final wedding day of Christ and his bride.

We are living in the middle of the greatest love story that has ever been told. Now that’s romantic!

The twister king

Many of you have probably heard it said that Satan doesn’t have the ability to create anything; he just perverts what God intended for good. This, my friends, is exactly what has happened to romance. God set eternity in hearts, a desire to be with our beloved until the end of days, but the devil took that pure desire and turned it towards temporal things, false realities, and vain imaginations.

I hate to be one of those people that is like media is bad and blah, blah, blah, but really… it is.

Media has become a master at getting us to believe that romance should look a certain way. It’s very rare to find a movie without sex, and it’s just as rare to find one where the couple doing the deed is married. Don’t get me started on the passionate way that couples hook up. I’ll spare you the details, but I stayed a virgin until I was married (I was nearly 30) and my face looked nothing like the face of any girl I’ve ever seen being de-flowered in a movie. The devil is a lie.

Good advice for all

As a single person I knew watching too many romance movies would awaken desires within me that would make it difficult for me to be content in that season, but I didn’t realize it was an issue for marriage as well. Watching these movies even as a married woman has given me unrealistic expectations, and I’ve discovered that they often seep into the way I treat my husband.

In fact, I had planned to write about something else for today’s post, but last night I caught myself wanting to implement something I had seen on a romantic comedy with my husband. Literally, in my mind’s eye, I was referencing the exact scene I saw the entire time I was supposed to be focused on my husband. I wanted to do everything just like it was in the movie because I thought it was so romantic.

When I confessed to him later, I saw how much it hurt him, and I resolved to get back to guarding my eyes. That is not a practice I want to continue in our marriage.

Now, I’m not saying that all romantic comedies are of the devil. There are a lot of movies out there that are clean. You just have to dig for them. I have had to give myself a rule of keeping away from the ones that are rated R (some PG-13 as well). I used to think that being married meant that I could watch these things without issue, but no. They’re still off limits. 

That's why it's so important for those of you that are single to use discernment now. Not only is it good to help you keep your mind out of places it doesn't need to be, but if God has marriage lined up for you, guarding your eyes is a practice you'll need to continue. Just remember to use your discernment and stay in tune with the wanderings of your heart.

S'ambrosia is a published author and singer-songwriter with a heart to see God's people experience deep levels of intimacy with Him. She is a former middle school teacher currently living in Kenya with her husband where they are beginning a ministry called The Joshua Blueprint, which aims to come alongside existing children's homes to teach children various expressions of worship. 
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