So You Are Single?

“Yes. I am single. “I replied smiling. The man looked at me. He could not understand how a pretty woman like me could still be single at my age (I am 26 by the grace of God)!!! His reaction made me laugh. I mean why should I enter into a relationship, I asked him. He replied “I believe that A relationship will lead you into marriage”, I smiled and told him “A relationship should have a purpose; I cannot just date or enter in a marriage with no purpose and no vision.”

The Bible teaches us in John 3:16 that Christ was sent for a purpose. He was saved so we could not perish in hell but have everlasting life. By the Grace of God, I strongly believe that all I do and will do in the future has a purpose. My life has a purpose. My singleness has a purpose. My finances status has a purpose. My friendship has a purpose. If I remove the purpose, I remove my identity in Christ. Christ is my image and His Word tells me that all He does has a purpose.

I have to admit that it took my some years to understand that singleness was not a curse but I should ask God what was the reason for me to be single as others are knitting the knots. And you know what? God replied to me. You have to search for the purpose of your singleness: it will save you from bad choices, heartbreaks, bad relationships, jealousy, hatred and so on. I cannot envy someone who is getting married; I passed this stage because I understood why I am single.

Do you know why you are single? Do you know why God is allowing your friends, sisters to get married and not you? It is not because He loves them more. No! It is not because they are better Christians than you. No! Marriage is a gift from God. You cannot buy God’s gift. It is a Grace!

As for me, I know that God wants me to build a very intimate relationship with Him. He told me I could not meet that man, unless I discover who I am in Him first. He told me that if I know who I am, it will help me to recognize him. ‘In his vision, you will see yours’ that resume pretty what He told me.

Do not miss the steps. God is a God of order. Do not be in a rush. It is true that you are getting older. It is true that many people are waiting to meet your future husband. It is true that you feel ready. It is true that you are getting to the menopause. My question is ‘Do trust in God’? The word tells us that ‘perfect love cast out fear’(1 John 4:18). You cannot say you trust God and go into online Christian Dating hoping to find Mr. Right!

God will bring him when His time will come. He wants to surprise us. He wants us to not love ‘marriage’ more than Him. Oh Yes! Because some single women have resumed their prayers life to ‘Lord bless me with a husband’. God does not share His glory. You cannot love a future husband more than Him.

I may not be into your situation but I do understand your feelings. Nevertheless, I want you to find the purpose of your singleness. A life without a direction has no mission. Your direction leads you. What is leading you? Is God still leading you? Or the fear of remaining alone, the fear of never getting married is leading you?

Your singleness has a purpose. May your identity not be shaped by your marital status. You are already a spouse; you are the bride of Christ. Do not be like Hannah. Her husband asked her ‘Am I not worth then sons’? (1 Samuel 1: 8) She desperately wanted a child. She was loved by her husband but she was so focused on getting a child than her husband’ love did not move her anymore.

I know you are maybe tired of your single status. But is Christ more than a husband to you?

I had to put God at the first place of my life because He was not at that place. I had to discover my identity in Him and to know where He is leading me. Before I could have ‘feelings’ for a lot of man, I thought it was love but it was not.

I thank God cause from the moment we had this chat (I mean God and I), I cannot just fall in love. It is been a while since I had feelings for a man. When brothers come up to me to tell me they want me as their wife, I know they are just here to distract me. How do I know it? I know it because I know my purpose. I know why God will bring up this man to me. I know why I soon will get married but I had to find the purpose of my singleness.

So what is your purpose?

I pray God to remove the scales from your eyes and to open your eyes so you may see His purpose of your life, your singleness, your marriage to come, your children to come, your ministry and so on. May Jesus be praised!

Larissa Ondo is a youth leader in her church and serves a well in the choir. She loves encouraging young ladies in the Word and preaching the Gospel. She is the author of the blog Ladies Wonderfully Made and has a French Facebook page to encourage young Christian ladies through the Word called Le Banquet d Esther (The Feast of Esther). Blog

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