Debunking the Guard Your Heart Theory

It’s pretty much a given that if you’re a single Christian female, you’ve been told at least once to guard your heart. Throughout the entirety of my college career and most of my single life, that biblical command became the rudder that directed my relational ship… right into a cliff. 

Check it out.

Perpetually relationally awkward

Just in case you’re unfamiliar with the scripture reference here, I’m talking about Proverbs 4:23 

Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.

The teachings that mostly stem from this proverb basically encourage Christians to be careful of what we let in our hearts. Garbage in, garbage out, you know?  As it relates to single women, this scripture has been used to ensure that we keep guys at a distance (i.e. don’t get too close to the guy so that he doesn’t break your heart).

Set Apart SPOTLIGHT: Liv Migenes

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about singleness, it’s this:

Singleness is out of my control.

Much of my life, I’ve been boyfriend-less with no possible prospects in sight. It’s always left me wondering, Has God forgotten about me? Relationships are supposed to be a rite of passage. High school meant going to the prom, the ultimate show of coupledom. College was meeting that sweetheart you’d never forget and possibly even marry. But I only went to the post-prom party (which was pretty lame) and had crushes in college.

Maybe I didn’t put myself in places where I would meet people. As an introvert, I prefer a quiet afternoon with a good book to loud parties.  But was that really the reason for my singleness?

After I became a Christian, I wondered when the time would come when I’d meet that great man of God and we’d fall in love. But instead, I fell into the wrong relationship after praying for the wrong prayer. I prayed that God would turn his heart toward me and that’s exactly what He did. Only, after a few months of dating, I finally came to understand why God had not done it in the first place.

I'm Single & I Idolize My Singleness.

I know you're probably reading the title of this post and you're thinking.  Singleness? Idolatry? Where they do that at? Oh maybe she meant to write marriage.  Marriage idolatry.  Sorry but no friends. This isn't a mistake.  Keep reading.

I finally reached a point where I was content with my singleness or so I thought. I no longer strongly desired a relationship. I convinced myself that maybe God doesn't have a spouse for me. Everyone is not guaranteed marriage right?

I had listened to so many sermons, read so many blogs, and read so many books on marriage and relationships and I deeply understood that marriage isn't a big fairy tale but it requires hard work. Sometimes you'll like your spouse and sometimes you'll want to pull their teeth out. Marriage shows you yourself. Once you're in a marriage you begin to realize how selfish, impatient, unloving & etc.... that you are. Yikes!

Livestream with Author Allison Flexer!

Happy New Year from the She is Set Apart Team! We wanted to update you concerning the She is Set Apart 2015 Conference. Recently we hosted two livestreams for the conference. One was with with potential conference spoken word artist Arielle Estoria Wilburn.  You can watch that interview here. The other was with the founder of Changed Hearts and potential conference speaker Angel Walston which you can watch here. Tonight we are so excited to be hosting our next She is Set Apart Conference 2015 livestream tonight with Author of Truth, Lies, and The Single Woman Allison Flexer on our YouTube Channel.  

WHO IS ALLISON.

Allison K. Flexer is passionate about encouraging single women in their journeys of faith and communicating the love of God to others. As a single woman, she fought her share of lies and learned to replace them with God’s truth.