Set Apart SPOTLIGHT: Liv Migenes

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about singleness, it’s this:

Singleness is out of my control.

Much of my life, I’ve been boyfriend-less with no possible prospects in sight. It’s always left me wondering, Has God forgotten about me? Relationships are supposed to be a rite of passage. High school meant going to the prom, the ultimate show of coupledom. College was meeting that sweetheart you’d never forget and possibly even marry. But I only went to the post-prom party (which was pretty lame) and had crushes in college.

Maybe I didn’t put myself in places where I would meet people. As an introvert, I prefer a quiet afternoon with a good book to loud parties.  But was that really the reason for my singleness?

After I became a Christian, I wondered when the time would come when I’d meet that great man of God and we’d fall in love. But instead, I fell into the wrong relationship after praying for the wrong prayer. I prayed that God would turn his heart toward me and that’s exactly what He did. Only, after a few months of dating, I finally came to understand why God had not done it in the first place.

It’s taken me a long time coming to grips with my singleness. To understand that it’s not about what’s wrong with me but what’s right about God. He is good and He knows what’s best for me.

Nothing is ever wasted in God’s kingdom, especially our singleness. One of the things I believe God wants to work in us is this: We need to be able to listen to His voice and believe He only has our best interests at heart.  

That not-really Christian boyfriend I had…I knew he wasn’t God’s will for me. But I didn’t listen.  I wanted to love someone so badly that I ignored all the warning signs the Holy Spirit kept waving in front of me. Signs like:

DO NOT PROCEED

DANGER! DANGER!

DEAD END

If I had listened I would have avoided a lot of pain and shame. I would have shaken off my delusion that God would bless that relationship because I wanted Him to.  But God…

He took my mess and turned it into a message. I humbled myself and repented before God. I admitted my fault in not listening to Him. In turn, He gave me a heart for young adults so that they would avoid the mistakes that I made.  He’s allowed me to share through my blog what had previously brought me so much pain and doubt to others who feel the same.

I don’t know if I’ll get married but Jesus said in Matthew 6:33 (MSG),

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.  

If you’re single today, then keep your eyes open for what God is doing in your life.  You may not have control over your singleness but you can rest knowing that He does!

Liv is 34 years old and lives in New York City. She has lived in NYC for most of her life except for a four-year period when I went to high school in Connecticut. She is a single daughter serving - encouraging women of all ages in their singleness and identities in Christ. 
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