Had that “no new friends” bandwagon that people have been jumping on left and right come out a few years ago, I would be sitting front row and center. Even though I’m a very friendly person, I’m also private and it wasn’t until a few years ago that I also used this as an excuse not to let people in. I talked to a lot of people but my interactions for a long time were limited to courteous ‘hellos’ and ‘how’s your week been?’ I was content with my handful of close friends, and my family who were my support system and accountability partners.
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| Photo Credit: Arielle Estoria Chroniclesofalioness.com |
Slowly however, my understanding of being private versus being distant has evolved. It really is a fine line to tread, allowing people to know you well; shortcomings, insecurities, vices and all, while still maintaining healthy information boundaries. I hope by now you’re catching on that the “V” is for vulnerability - one of the most important ingredients in the recipe for intimacy. This may not apply to everyone but for me, it was a tough and long lesson to learn. Allowing people to take a closer look at my brokenness was alien to me because of my warped understanding of what it means to be a christian, let alone a worship leader.
As per Google, vulnerability embodies being “capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt [and] open to moral attack, criticism, temptation.” While we’re at it, let’s throw in another powerful word that is intimately connected to vulnerability, shame. Its definition is “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour.”
Brene Brown, a researcher and fellow social worker, shares an amazing nugget of truth in her “The Power of Vulnerability” TED Talk (available on Youtube). She states “the only people who don’t experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection.” Let that sink in for a moment…
Isn’t that the crux of the gospel???
Using the definition above, without the repentance that comes from recognizing the cost of sin, we cannot receive or experience the joys of salvation. Psalm 51 is a chapter I frequent often. Before King David; a murdering, adulterous man who still qualified to be named a man after God’s own heart, could plead verses 10- 12, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit,” he had to confess verse 4, “Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight....”
God’s favorite place to be is smack in the middle of your mess whether you just created it or it’s been years in the making after failed attempts of cleaning it up on your own! Why else would He give us Romans 5:8 - “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Gosh, I love the peace found in resting on this promise.
And the one that just as much as I have a God-sized void in my heart that only He can fill, He has a me-sized hole in His that only I can fill (Summarized from the book “Captivated by Stasi and John Eldredge). How AMAZING is that? “For this reason (trying to use fleshly efforts to get closer to God) I will fence her in with thornbushes. I will block her path with a wall to make her lose her way. When she runs after her lovers, she won’t be able to catch them. She will search for them but not find them. Then she will think, ‘I might as well return to my husband (Jesus Christ), for I was better off with [H]im than I am now” Hosea 2:6-7.
Just as with man, intimacy with God requires humility and total surrender without which there can’t be a healthy relationship. Unfortunately, with man, there isn’t a guarantee that your vulnerability will be met with positivity and in turn reciprocated. But with God you can have blessed assurance that He always will meet you with open arms (Matt. 11:28).
Grace and peace.
What’s been your biggest takeaway about deepening your intimacy with God?
Bernadette, Contributor. She prefers to be called Bernie. She is Kenyan born but currently lives in NYC. She describes herself as a praise and worshipper in love with Jesus with a heart after God’s own. She is also a local and international missionary telling others and learning more about Christ wherever she goes. Lastly, She is a Licensed Social Worker specializing in Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention.
Bernadette, Contributor. She prefers to be called Bernie. She is Kenyan born but currently lives in NYC. She describes herself as a praise and worshipper in love with Jesus with a heart after God’s own. She is also a local and international missionary telling others and learning more about Christ wherever she goes. Lastly, She is a Licensed Social Worker specializing in Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention. 
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