Is He The One?

“Oooh maybe he’s the one.”

“Oh no...him….”

”Ooooooh no it’s definitely him”…

”Lord, what do you think?….naah it’s him”

”Girl did you see the way those guys were lifting up their hands in worship?”

“Let’s go back next week to seize the bae”

Sound familiar?

If you’re somewhat active on social media nowadays, you can agree that almost every post is about marriage, engagement, pre wedding photo shoots, side chicks, relationship goals, how to catch a man, 10 things men want in their future wives, 5 reasons why he didn’t text back, and so much more. It’s no wonder why our thoughts have been bombarded with the pressures of getting into a relationship or finding a husband.

Don’t get me wrong, God has put the desire to get married into our hearts for a reason, and when two people come together in matrimony, it is indeed a beautiful thing. However, we women have allowed finding “bae” to become an idol and honey, and this path only leads to heartbreak and emotionally instability.

Someone once told me that when someone doesn’t know where they’re going, anywhere they get to looks like it. That’s the same with us ladies when it comes to relationships. We have built up an image of our dream man in our minds that we worship daily instead of focusing on God and His plans for our lives. The result is that whenever you meet any guy that matches up to this image in your head ever so slightly, he automatically becomes your man (whether he remembers your name or not!).

However, sis, I’ve learned on MANY occasions that just because Billy can speak in tongues, knows that Mary is the mother of Jesus, can quote a few scriptures, and, of course, looks good in that Italian suit does not mean he’s my husband.  

Some of us ladies, upon meeting a guy for the first time, have already decided whether his surname would suit us or not, whether our picture together will get 100+ likes on Instagram and whether or not your first born will have nice hair.

Many of us think that the reason we’re still single is because we’re not “putting ourselves out there” or because we’re keeping our weaves in for too long, or because we don’t look a certain way. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to go out and meet new people, take care of yourself and take pride in your appearance. But if the only reason we’re doing these things is to been seen by Pierre, I’m sorry to say, sis, we’ll be single for a very long time. Maybe not, but you definitely won’t be found by the one God has for you. You may get the second best.

“But at least we’ve got a ring, right?”

We should never forget that men can sense desperation, and the wrong guy will play on that and break your heart.

The only key for fulfilling this desire for marriage and companionship is really in (yes, I’m about to go there) seeking God. God is asking us to seek him first and then He’ll give us all these additional things we believe we need.

As single women, we’re quick to quote Jeremiah 29:11 and console ourselves with the bit that says for I know the plans God has for me. But have we ever decided to actually believe what that verse says?  

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”

God isn’t lying: He really does have a plan to give you a hope and a future, and that includes who you’ll marry. Leave it in His hands, and trust that He’ll do a better job at bringing you and your future husband together than you’ll ever do.

The Bible says to “delight yourself in the Lord and He’ll give you the desires of your hear”t (Psalm 37:4) and also tells us to “trust in Lord and to lean not on our own understanding, but in all our ways we should acknowledge Him” (Proverbs 3:5).

What to do while you’re waiting?

1. Stop waiting, start doing!
2. Stop wondering whether every guy you meet is the one!
3. Ensure that you are the one the one you’re looking for, is looking for!
   

Why don’t you take the time to listen to what God wants you to achieve in this time of singleness? Invest the valuable time you spend worrying about your singleness in yourself: finish that book, get that degree, start that business, preach the gospel. Please do anything else apart from dwelling on the fact that Billy didn’t text you back!

Also think about it this way: when you finally meet that great man of God you want, he will also want a great woman of God by his side, and when he meets you, he doesn’t want to hear that you spent the last 5 years planning your honeymoon!

Sisters, get busy with work of God, Boaz found Ruth while she working not planning her future babies names. When you begin to put God’s work first, you’ll soon find he gives you what you need when you need it with no delay. Your husband will find you when you get busy with what God has sent you to do.

“A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her”- Maya Angelou





Victoria is a 20 year old University student based in the UK. She is the leader of a campus fellowship and loves to sing, teach and write. She struggled to believe God loved her for many years and now I runs a ministry called Chosen by Him which reminds and teaches people that God loves and has a plan for them and has chosen them to be part of His family. Blog | Instagram