Do Better

Can we just take a moment to appreciate the godly desires we have! How amazing it is that we desire to do life God’s way! Living counter-culture is no joke! So again, I beseech you to really take a moment to truly appreciate our daily feats!

Selah!

I’ve become so aware of the kind of advice out there for us singles that’s so contrary to living pure and set-apart lives. Some sound like never ending lists of thou-shalt-not’s. Others are just straight up desperate tactics to get a man. “Just walk past his desk and accidentally drop something and bend to pick it up without bending your knees.” Like, seriously?

Both sets of advice miss the fullness of God’s blessing for and in a relationship. The former places the focus on the restrictions of obedience vs. the benefits of it.  The latter is just plain desperate and out of God’s will. Remember “he that findeth…?”

But as much as I know these things and really believe in God’s timing, ability to provide, and His sovereignty, I’ve really been struggling these past few weeks with maintaining my focus. My thoughts, my words, and my prayers were saturated with relationship talk. And it didn’t help that everyone around me helped me worship this idol. From friends, family, and even strangers like my cab driver the other day who told me “don’t worry, he’s coming soon!” Ummm…does soon have a deadline? I’ve been waiting on “soon” for a while.

Anywho! I recently read 1 Corinthians 7:7 and that verse hit me like never before. What level of intimacy did Paul have with Christ for Him to not just say this but to live it?! I’ve been kinda afraid in the past to pray that prayer of asking God to really be enough and that I’d be ok being single forever. I think I was afraid He’d go too far and think I meant I actually want to be single forever. But then again, what’s wrong with that? If that’s God’s will, won’t He provide the strength and grace for me (and you) to endure?

With all the time I spend pining and yearning for a man who will not come any faster or slower; but in God’s perfect timing, how can I spend my time better? I’ve realized that whenever I lose sight of my purpose, I get side-tracked from the things I ought to be working towards that God has made provision for, and instead focus on what I don’t have. Meaning, there are so many dreams, prophecies and visions God has made plain that are close to overdue! But I keep procrastinating on them while remaining fixated on a season that’s yet to come.

If you keep reading to verse 34 (still in 1 Corinthians 7), Paul highlights what the main focus of being single is: to serve God wholeheartedly. No competing demands to try and balance between family and ministry. Without a husband and/or children, I am available to begin laying the groundwork on those areas God is calling me to serve Him and his people in. But because it takes work and sacrifice, I’d rather not do it. That’s just lazy and disobedient. *recoils shyly* There’s no other way to put it.

As the Holy Spirit’s conviction kept taking root in my heart, I went back to Proverbs 31 and reread verse 12. “All the days of her life” start now. Submitting to God is the foundation to submitting to a spouse. If it’s hard with a perfect God, imagine when it comes to a flawed human?

Then I read verses 15 and 18 and wondered how much earlier will I need to be up to start my day off with the Lord and still prepare “food for [my] household and plan the day’s work.” Additionally, how late am I willing to stay up to complete the days’ work and end the day with God?

And then Verse 27 happened. “She… suffers nothing from laziness.” WHAT? I failed the virtuous woman test *gasps.* Although I say that comically, there’s a deeper, scary truth that is unveiled in that sentence and verse 30 captures it: “a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” The essence and characteristics of a virtuous woman flows from her reverential fear of the Lord. This in turn produces the fruit of obedience that God can’t help Himself but to reward with grace, favor and strength to deal with her portion.

The Bible is our standard and I encourage you to measure yourself compared to its words.

In the beginning of this blog, we took time to appreciate our godly desires, and I hope that you now see, as I do, that the desires alone aren’t enough. Like it says in James 2:17, faith without works is dead. If we believe that “God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him (Heb. 11:6)” then we’d truly take Matt. 6:33’s advice and seek the things of the Kingdom first KNOWING (having God’s Blessed Assurance) that He WILL give you the desires of your heart.

Where do you see a need for obedience in your life?

What instructions from God have you put on pause that you feel you ought to resume working on?

 Bernadette prefers to be called Bernie. She is Kenyan born but currently lives in NYC.  She describes herself as a praise and worshipper in love with Jesus with a heart after God’s own. She is also a local and international missionary telling others and learning more about Christ wherever she goes. Lastly, She is a Licensed Social Worker specializing in Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention.

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