How to Thrive in Your Singleness

This week we are sharing with you an interview we did with Yumi on thriving in your singleness.

In this interview we discuss the heart behind She is Set Apart. We also answer questions such as is being single during the holidays harder and is singleness looked down upon by society and the church?  We also give advice on dealing with loneliness in your singleness and how to prevent settling.

You can also click here to check out our interview we did with Yumi on our channel about how to be content during our singleness.

Journey to Favor

I always saw myself as a wife. I could cook, clean and perform my wifely duties as appropriate. So I knew that once I found the right man my natural wifely abilities would naturally shine through. I had it all figured out. I could quote Proverbs 18 :22 backwards.


“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor in the Lord.”

I was favor I was a good thing. I trailed through one relationship after another trying to prove I was favor. And when they ended badly I would
always say, “He just didn’t realize the good thing he had.” This was a pattern I followed for years trying to make a man see me as favorable. Only to be disappointed when he left me to pursue someone else just as promising. I was on a collision course with destruction and we were just about to collide. I had to change, my mind had to change, my ideas had to change. First change that took place was relationships took a back seat to my Father. I had to put God in his rightful position in my life. God could not and would ride shotgun in my sinful relationship endeavors. He had to be the driver of my love life. I came to place where I realized being single was a gift to be embraced. Once I gave my life to God amazing things started to happen. I realized that I was already favorable to him. God loved me I was his “good thing”. I didn’t have to be a great cook, an excellent house keeper or a gymnast in the bedroom. He loved me just as I was. Once I allowed God into my life he revealed to me a life that this world just was not capable of giving me. I could no longer use culture and the world to give me the tools I needed to make me “wife material”. I had to seek the author of marriage to understand. I had to read the greatest love story ever written to understand what an appropriate help meet was. As I started living a life that centered around Matthew 6:33,

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God as his righteousness and all these will be added to you”

Dear Grown Woman, Know Your Worth

Most growing women get the wrong impression of what 'being in a relationship' is. Is it social media? Or simply the upbringing? I can't tell but its very observable- most growing women want to be in a relationship for all the wrong reasons.

Going into a relationship, most young women fail to set objectives and most importantly, standards. They exhibit behaviours because "that's what is done in the movies" or "that's what my friend does in her own relationship". Please listen: Because it's in the movies or it's been exhibited by other people does not make it right!

One of the most beautiful qualities a growing woman can have is a mind of her own. Yes! You heard it right- have a mind of your own. You don't have to let your partner drag you both down and also, you don't have to feel like you're anyone's savior. Save yourself first.

Know New Friends

There are so many things now that I wish someone had told me prior to going to college… and it definitely didn’t involve the ‘scare stories’ about campus life; don’t get drunk because it can lead to rape, don’t sleep around because everyone knows what the “walk of shame” looks like, don’t embarrass your family and friends like you don’t have home training… The list went on and on.

Sidebar: Are these legitimate concerns worthy of your attention? ABSOLUTELY! Always practice caution at all times, on and off campus.

Going to back to my original thought, what was missing that we often see even in evangelism? What is to be gained out of college life especially under the privilege of being a believer! There’s so much to look forward to. So many friends to make, so much growing and maturing to do, so much wisdom and knowledge to gain that can’t happen otherwise.