When Jesus is Your Prize: How to Flourish in Singleness

How often do we find ourselves complaining about how unsatisfying our lives are, how unhappy we’ll be until we can find the right guy to complete us? It seems like if we can only meet “the One” we’ll finally be complete and life will start once we’ve gotten married. If you use Instagram, it’s hard to escape all the pictures of cute couples, gorgeous weddings, and happily married women that are out there. It seems like marriage just makes everything so darn perfect. It’s no wonder that singleness is treated like a nuisance, a condition that has to be gotten rid of – it’s a time of loneliness, it would seem, spent in tears, endless fantasizing, and complete unhappiness because it seems like everyone else is getting their fill of what we’re apparently lacking in.

I think the reason that there is such a struggle with singleness is because most of us women are under the illusion that the only way to be happy, the only way to be “complete” is to be in a relationship with a guy. Nothing will make sense until we’ve gotten our walk down the aisle. But we’ve got it all wrong, ladies. A relationship with a guy could never make us whole – only Jesus Christ makes us whole. That hole in our hearts and souls can’t ever be filled by the love of an earthly man. Only Jesus Christ can fill and sustain us. So if the Lord makes us whole, even before a godly marriage, why aren’t we flourishing in that wholeness of Him in singleness?

It’s a dangerous thing for us Christian women to believe that life won’t be complete until we’re married. For one thing, it shows that Christ is not enough for us. We might say that He is our everything but the way that we live our lives (especially as single ladies) would prove the opposite. If we can’t find satisfaction in knowing Jesus without a mate, then what makes us think that we will be satisfied later on with one?

As I reflected on these questions, my eyes were opened to the wonderful reality that marriage is not the ultimate goal in life – knowing Jesus is. As beautiful as a godly marriage could be, life spent for and with Christ is what it’s really about – married or single. If our lives could only be marked by such a principle, then our season of singleness would no doubt turn into something beautiful for us.

If our King was esteemed as the ultimate in life, then whether single, married, or widowed, we’d be content, since all seasons would exalt Christ as the prize. Godly contentment is only found through personally knowing Him. Everything we could ever want or need is only attained in having a relationship with Christ. A future husband, even if he beautifully made the attempt to, could never fulfill or satisfy the necessities and longings of our hearts. We should realize this now while single that although marriage is beautifully ordained by God, only Jesus can satisfy the soul. With or without a man, this life will only be sweet and satisfying if it’s had in Christ.

Sweet sisters, I only testify what I have discovered. The “misery of singleness” is nowhere to be found in my life as I have made Christ my ultimate. Everything that I have desired or ever hoped for is all found in Jesus Christ. No longer do I yearn for companionship or wait for a guy to ravish my heart: I’ve already met that One who I always longed for and I share a love far beyond this world could ever produce. Jesus fills my days with joy and peace; He meets my needs and satisfies all my desires. He loves, adores, and cherishes me, unworthy as I am, and Shepherds me in the sweetest friendship. I am never alone, I never lack – He is the greatest delight! Because He is my all, I know that if I were to never experience an earthly love story, I wouldn’t mind. I’m already caught up in the best love story of all – it’s with the King of kings, who showcased the greatest act of love in all of history for mankind: He died so that we could have life, and at that, life more abundantly. Now that’s a love worth living for! We don’t have to wait for a relationship to start living – we can daily adventure through a glorious journey of knowing the heart and mind of our true Lover, Jesus Christ.

If Christ is not the ultimate of your life yet, then I challenge you to make Him your all. This is a decision that must be done daily and in all aspects of our life. Start by freshly surrendering your God-given desire to be married, to be loved and cherished by a Christ-like man, and turn your gaze upon the Lord, the Author of love itself. Make your life about knowing and serving Jesus Christ. Instead of spending your singleness waiting and searching for an earthly love story, offer up your singleness to Him and view it as a gift to spend for your King. It is what we followers of Him are actually called to do – to deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Him wholeheartedly. By doing this, we will not only be obeying what we are called to do as Christians but we will gain the pleasure we’ve always longed and hoped for.

Guest Blogger - Abby Elijah | Blog