Text: Luke 13:11-13
Hello my lovely singles! A dear friend of mine once said: “…one thing you DO NOT want to do is get into a relationship with low self-esteem. You will begin to question your boyfriend/husband’s faithfulness, his truthfulness [about being beautiful] and your negative thoughts become power, and that power consumes you, making you feel like the ugliest being on the planet and that makes you feel alone -- even when you are coupled.” WOW! Powerful statement, right?
You know, it’s my opinion that as children of God, many Spirit-filled believers may not be whole in certain areas. Allow me to explain. *Lea was friends with Mike for a few years before they decided they liked each other. Lea was saved, in school, working and loving life. Mike was also saved, educated, and a hard-working guy. They dated for awhile–all giddy with excitement about marriage, kids and maybe even a dog🙂. But, they didn’t make it. And it wasn’t all HIS fault. While Lea was Holy-Ghost filled, she was NOT healed from the hurts from her past relationships---and that manifested itself in various ways. For example, Lea wasn’t a big sports fan, but would muster up excitement while watching ESPN with Mike. Hey, she hadn’t had a date in years and didn’t want to mess this up. When Mike cancelled dates at the last minute, Lea was upset, but rather than talk about it, she pretended she was ok. After all, she didn’t want to seem like a nag and wanted to prove she was Christ-like and able to forgive. She even lied to him about how far she went with past boyfriends, so he’d stay interested in her. In short, Lea’s self-esteem was so low, she felt she had to be a certain way in order to keep him around and interested. It was tiring to Lea to keep pretending, but it was the only way she knew to operate so he’d stick around. Eventually one thing led to another, and the relationship ended. Lea, (like many other women) was so battle-weary from past rejections, hurts, self-doubt, watching friends get boyfriends/married, etc., that when this guy came along, she allowed the whispers of doubt and fear from the enemy control her thoughts and actions. This is where she needed to allow the Lord to come in and heal her.
This reminds me of the woman with the spirit of infirmity Luke 13:11-13. She had lived with this issue for eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no way lift up herself. For Lea, every rejection, negative comment, the tormenting voices–all that pain began to pile up and weigh her down to a point where she could not lift herself up, like many of us. But just as Jesus saw and called the woman to be loosed from her infirmity, He is calling to us to be healed as well!
Facing up to the things that hurt us is difficult and painful, but so is carrying it around! And with healing from Jesus, you don’t have to anymore! Jesus is calling us to be made whole in all the areas of our lives, foremost for HIS glory, as we fulfill the great commission (see Matthew 28:19), which will in turn, prepare us for a potential mate, if that is God's will. Either way, Jesus wants you to be made whole!
Today, ask God in faith to lift you up from all areas you are bowed down in, bless you to be confident through Him, and replace the areas of fear with His perfect love (I John 4:18). Take comfort in knowing that it is His pleasure to heal you and then walk upright and see the “whole” bright future God has for you! God bless you!
*Names have been changed to protect identities
Guest blogger - Blenda Anderson | Blog
Blenda served as a guest speaker for the She is Set Apart 2016 Singles Conference - click here to access her workshop sessions.
January 29, 2017
January 22, 2017
How To Maximize Your Singleness Devotional: Week 2
Text: 1 Corinthians 13:11
One of the ways we can maximize our single season is by committing to maturing. I’m learning through motherhood that having the responsibility of nurturing, serving and being an example in any capacity requires maturity. It requires a soul that is committed to practicing the putting away of childish things. Putting off the old man and putting on the new, walking and abiding in the Spirit that He might bring forth His fruit in us.
We often have it presented to us that womanhood is all about outward femininity and the ability to keep a home, so once we are able to do those things we consider ourselves women, but when ‘life happens’ we end up responding like girls. Girls gossip, keep a victim mentality, feel entitled, avoid responsibility and harbor toxic emotions. This cannot be our response if we are to walk purposefully and as representatives of Christ.
I believe if we want to fulfil our destiny then we must commit to maturing into women according to God’s standards. A woman who is still a girl on the inside, may struggle to be effective in marriage, motherhood and ministry because she lacks the capacity to maximize those positions. Of course God’s Grace catches us when we become wives and mothers, while still being girls inwardly, and He doesn’t call us to serve Him once we’ve got it all together, but committing to truly maturing can save some heartache and frustration.
God is not just preparing us for a wedding day; He’s preparing us for a life of worship and an eternity of oneness! So let us submit to His work in us, remembering it is by His Spirit, and our simple obedience. Prayer: Father help us to see womanhood through Your eyes, and give us the heart to commit to the process. Thank you that singleness is the perfect moment to focus on being who You have pre-ordained and unbecoming all that You have not. Teach us what it is walk in love, and bear fruit that matures and remains. Teach us to abide that our souls might remain steadfast. Help us to overcome the flesh and walk according to the new man, that we might be effective in every season. Teach us to be responsible not just naturally but also spiritually, so that we can heal, grow and be a reflection of You. We pray that You would be the center of our focus, pleasing You would be our goal, and knowing You would be our reward. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Guest Blogger - Nicole Dennis | Blog
One of the ways we can maximize our single season is by committing to maturing. I’m learning through motherhood that having the responsibility of nurturing, serving and being an example in any capacity requires maturity. It requires a soul that is committed to practicing the putting away of childish things. Putting off the old man and putting on the new, walking and abiding in the Spirit that He might bring forth His fruit in us.
We often have it presented to us that womanhood is all about outward femininity and the ability to keep a home, so once we are able to do those things we consider ourselves women, but when ‘life happens’ we end up responding like girls. Girls gossip, keep a victim mentality, feel entitled, avoid responsibility and harbor toxic emotions. This cannot be our response if we are to walk purposefully and as representatives of Christ.
I believe if we want to fulfil our destiny then we must commit to maturing into women according to God’s standards. A woman who is still a girl on the inside, may struggle to be effective in marriage, motherhood and ministry because she lacks the capacity to maximize those positions. Of course God’s Grace catches us when we become wives and mothers, while still being girls inwardly, and He doesn’t call us to serve Him once we’ve got it all together, but committing to truly maturing can save some heartache and frustration.
God is not just preparing us for a wedding day; He’s preparing us for a life of worship and an eternity of oneness! So let us submit to His work in us, remembering it is by His Spirit, and our simple obedience. Prayer: Father help us to see womanhood through Your eyes, and give us the heart to commit to the process. Thank you that singleness is the perfect moment to focus on being who You have pre-ordained and unbecoming all that You have not. Teach us what it is walk in love, and bear fruit that matures and remains. Teach us to abide that our souls might remain steadfast. Help us to overcome the flesh and walk according to the new man, that we might be effective in every season. Teach us to be responsible not just naturally but also spiritually, so that we can heal, grow and be a reflection of You. We pray that You would be the center of our focus, pleasing You would be our goal, and knowing You would be our reward. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Guest Blogger - Nicole Dennis | Blog
January 15, 2017
How To Maximize Your Singleness Devotional: Week 1
Text: Mark 11:13-14
I use to be very insecure about myself. I would always compare myself with some others sisters in the Lord. This comparison would bring nothing but fears, depression and doubt. Every time I would compare myself with someone, I would be filled with the fear of failing and think 'low' about myself. Because of this, it slowed down my growth in the Lord.
Have you ever compared yourself to someone? Especially to another single Christian Lady? Well, I am sure that you know by now that you will not enjoy your singleness if you keep doing it.
Our singleness is a sensitive period where God shapes our character and even polishes it. When I think of singleness, I have in mind the picture of a teenager that has to mature to enter into the real world.
Marriage is not for babies but for adults. God wants us to mature in all the areas of our lives. After God taught me about marriage, He showed me why I had to wait. He told me that I was created to become the helper of someone else. But how can you be a helper if you are not mature and productive? How can you help someone if you are unfruitful?
God taught me about fruitfulness. You and I have to bear fruits in order to maximize our singleness. Before Adam saw Eve, he already had a mission and vision. He was doing something with his life. Do not become the burden of someone else. You need to be fruitful in all you do. This is how you will maximize your singleness.
God is so serious about fruitfulness that through Jesus He cursed a fig tree because it was not bearing fruits! Although the Word tells us that it was not yet the season for figs, it didn’t change Jesus’ mind. No matter the season, this tree had to bear fruits. Do not wait to be married to be productive! What do you have in your hands? In which department are you serving in your church? Are you a soul winner? Do you talk to your friends about Jesus? Do you pray for your friends when they are sick? Do you pray for your leaders, your church? If you are leading a group, are your sheep growing under your leadership? What are you sowing and what are you reaping? God is serious about fruitfulness. Any talent God put in us must mature and I think as we are still single, it is the proper time for us to develop and build a strong foundation for our ministries and personal walk with Jesus.
Maximize your singleness by desiring to mature. Be fruitful in all the areas of your life. Do not preach the message but be the message. When we are fruitful, it is only showing that we are in good health but also that God is happy with us. May we be fruitful trees in Jesus Name!
Guest Blogger - Tabitha Larissa Joy Ondo | Blogger
I use to be very insecure about myself. I would always compare myself with some others sisters in the Lord. This comparison would bring nothing but fears, depression and doubt. Every time I would compare myself with someone, I would be filled with the fear of failing and think 'low' about myself. Because of this, it slowed down my growth in the Lord.
Have you ever compared yourself to someone? Especially to another single Christian Lady? Well, I am sure that you know by now that you will not enjoy your singleness if you keep doing it.
Our singleness is a sensitive period where God shapes our character and even polishes it. When I think of singleness, I have in mind the picture of a teenager that has to mature to enter into the real world.
Marriage is not for babies but for adults. God wants us to mature in all the areas of our lives. After God taught me about marriage, He showed me why I had to wait. He told me that I was created to become the helper of someone else. But how can you be a helper if you are not mature and productive? How can you help someone if you are unfruitful?
God taught me about fruitfulness. You and I have to bear fruits in order to maximize our singleness. Before Adam saw Eve, he already had a mission and vision. He was doing something with his life. Do not become the burden of someone else. You need to be fruitful in all you do. This is how you will maximize your singleness.
God is so serious about fruitfulness that through Jesus He cursed a fig tree because it was not bearing fruits! Although the Word tells us that it was not yet the season for figs, it didn’t change Jesus’ mind. No matter the season, this tree had to bear fruits. Do not wait to be married to be productive! What do you have in your hands? In which department are you serving in your church? Are you a soul winner? Do you talk to your friends about Jesus? Do you pray for your friends when they are sick? Do you pray for your leaders, your church? If you are leading a group, are your sheep growing under your leadership? What are you sowing and what are you reaping? God is serious about fruitfulness. Any talent God put in us must mature and I think as we are still single, it is the proper time for us to develop and build a strong foundation for our ministries and personal walk with Jesus.
Maximize your singleness by desiring to mature. Be fruitful in all the areas of your life. Do not preach the message but be the message. When we are fruitful, it is only showing that we are in good health but also that God is happy with us. May we be fruitful trees in Jesus Name!
Guest Blogger - Tabitha Larissa Joy Ondo | Blogger
January 8, 2017
An Open Letter to 20 Year Old Me
January 1, 2017
When Jesus is Your Prize: How to Flourish in Singleness
I think the reason that there is such a struggle with singleness is because most of us women are under the illusion that the only way to be happy, the only way to be “complete” is to be in a relationship with a guy. Nothing will make sense until we’ve gotten our walk down the aisle. But we’ve got it all wrong, ladies. A relationship with a guy could never make us whole – only Jesus Christ makes us whole. That hole in our hearts and souls can’t ever be filled by the love of an earthly man. Only Jesus Christ can fill and sustain us. So if the Lord makes us whole, even before a godly marriage, why aren’t we flourishing in that wholeness of Him in singleness?