Single, Saved, and Parenting!

My journey of singleness really only began three years ago. Prior to this, I had been saved for 2 years and backslidden for 3. I guess I really craved the comfort, affirmation and validation that I thought only exists in a relationship. I had no real revelation of grace and had almost aborted my destiny. But God is faithful, and even in my mess, He pulled me and my then 9-month old daughter out of a dysfunctional relationship.

So there began my journey. It wasn’t just about being physically single, but of learning to become exclusively His: physically, mentally and emotionally devoted to Christ. I believe that no matter how much we may have compromised in the past, we don’t have to settle for a life of compromise as a result. God desires for and enables us to live in purity, free from sin, guilt, condemnation and shame.

My journey these past few years has been one of healing, learning obedience, and trusting God through it all. Soon enough, I found myself learning to enjoy the present and remain hopeful for the future. Yet, there was still something missing. For a long time, I still felt a discontentment deep down.

Decoding The Mystery

“The heart of human excellence often begins to beat when you discover a pursuit that absorbs you, frees you, challenges you, or gives you a sense of meaning, joy, or passion.”―Terry Orlick 

So often, we pray for the Lord to bless us: bless us with a new car, a job, a husband, or what-not. As great as these things are, most of us fail to realize that these things are merely tools for us to use, in order, to fulfill our God-given destiny.

See, inside each of us is a code, and contained within this code is the revelation of who we truly are and the purpose for our lives. Psalm 139:16 reads, "You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your Book!" God is our Creator. He is the only one who is capable of unlocking the code that's inside us. As we actively pursue the presence of God [His character, His thoughts, His heart], He'll diligently reveal His unique purpose for our lives.  

Is He The One?

“Oooh maybe he’s the one.”

“Oh no...him….”

”Ooooooh no it’s definitely him”…

”Lord, what do you think?….naah it’s him”

”Girl did you see the way those guys were lifting up their hands in worship?”

“Let’s go back next week to seize the bae”

Sound familiar?

If you’re somewhat active on social media nowadays, you can agree that almost every post is about marriage, engagement, pre wedding photo shoots, side chicks, relationship goals, how to catch a man, 10 things men want in their future wives, 5 reasons why he didn’t text back, and so much more. It’s no wonder why our thoughts have been bombarded with the pressures of getting into a relationship or finding a husband.

Set Apart SPOTLIGHT ft. Ashleigh Maynor

It was an October Monday morning, and this morning was different. I had dialed my parents house and was waiting for one of my parents to pick up. They both picked up knowing immediately that something was wrong.

The fact that I was wailing over the phone as if someone tried to kill me probably put them on alarm. I did feel like I was dying though! As if someone had a hold around my heart and lungs and were squeezing them like a rag, trying to get every last ounce of life out of them.

Why, was I so distraught you ask? Well, that was the day that I became…single!

You know, the nine-years-of-dating-someone-and-having-a-piece-of-your-life-that-you-thought-you-had-all-figured-out-end-right-before-your-eyes kind of single.

It wasn’t a bad break up. Neither one of us actually wanted to end things, but God had been tugging on my heart for months. Our season together was ending.